Thursday, October 24, 2013

II Samuel Part I: Just a Few Questions

King Saul and King David

For all of the grand promises made by God the only ones that have come to full fruition thus far are those promises of great sorrow and suffering. Maybe that bad luck will turn around with the arrival of kings to rule the people of Israel. We see that the first two kings of Israel are Saul and David.

Which of these two kings that are amongst the most well known of those men who ruled the people of Israel in the Bible will have the greatest impact? Which will end up being more successful in war, in peace, in life, in love? Which one will receive greater blessings from the One they worship?

It seems to be that thus far in the Bible the people of Israel STILL have not received the full blessing of the promise given to them by God/the LORD. Perhaps that is because the LORD seems to be quite inventive in finding reasons and ways to punish His people for various infractions. But, each new day brings fresh hope, right? Let's see if the struggling people of Israel can fare any better with David as a king. I have stated ad nauseum in previous posts...if you wish to give an answer to ANY of these questions please do so at the end of the particular post which contains the question(s) you are answering. When using Bible verses as references please be sure to include the passage location. Do not worry about whether or not your answer is what I want to hear or whether or not it will meet my expectations. Screw that. I just want to know why you believe these things, what your explanations are for the questions, why you hold these things to be true.

Tell me WHY you DO believe and be clear and concise in your answers. Thank you.

1. II Samuel 1:5-10
Then David said to the young man who told him, “How do you know that Saul and his son Jonathan are dead?”

And the young man who told him said, “By chance I happened to be on Mount Gilboa, and there was Saul leaning on his spear, and behold, the chariots and the horsemen were close upon him.

And when he looked behind him, he saw me, and called to me. And I answered, ‘Here I am.’

And he said to me, ‘Who are you?’ I answered him, ‘I am an Amalekite.’

And he said to me ‘Stand beside me and kill me, for anguish has seized me, and yet my life still lingers.’

10 So I stood beside him and killed him, because I was sure that he could not live after he had fallen. And I took the crown that was on his head and the armlet that was on his arm, and I have brought them here to my lord.”

     1) Well, isn't this a big SNAFU? This man is claiming he killed Saul? Doesn't I Samuel 31:4-5 say that Saul fell upon his own sword, and when his armor bearer saw that Saul was dead he killed himself?

     2) Saul was leaning on his spear, eh? Like I mentioned before, doesn't I Samuel 31:4-5 say Saul fell upon his own SWORD? Wouldn't it be quite difficult to mistake a spear for a sword? 

     3) Did kings really go into battle with their crowns on? That just doesn't sound like a good idea, right? Wouldn't they screw the crown and wear a helmet instead?

2. II Samuel 1:13-15
13 And David said to the young man who told him, “Where do you come from?” And he answered, “I am the son of a sojourner, an Amalekite.”

14 David said to him, “How is it you were not afraid to put out your hand to destroy the LORD’s anointed?”

15 Then David said to one of his men, "Kill him!" So the man thrust his sword into the Amalekite and killed him.

     1) Why would David ask the man this question when the guy just said that Saul told him to do it? Sooo...I guess following orders didn't go a whole long way as an excuse in Bible times?

3. II Samuel 1:16
16 And David said to him, “Your blood be on your head, for your own mouth has testified against you, saying, ‘I have killed the LORD’s anointed.’”

     1) What a fucking douchebag David is, right? Did he forget that the man also said that Saul was dying and commanded him to finish it/end it for Saul?

     2) Sooo...if the man had NOT listened to Saul and had NOT finished it for Saul would David have then still killed the man for defying the king's orders/the orders of the LORD's anointed one? There is no way out for this man, right? He would have died either way.

4. II Samuel 5:13
13 Meanwhile David took more concubines and wives from Jerusalem, after he came from Hebron; and more sons and daughters were born to David.

     1) Sooo...I take it that the LORD allowed the men to marry many women and concubines, right? Think of it this way: if the LORD did NOT allow this and the people did it anyway, wouldn't that be the same as going against the Word of the LORD?

     2) Sooo...if the LORD's allowance or dis-allowance of something is the same thing as being the Word of the LORD, and if the Word of the LORD stands forever...then WHY don't believers follow this same practice today and become married to lots of women at the same time? I mean, if the Word of the LORD stands FOREVER then this should not be a problem, right?

5. II Samuel 6:6-7
But when they arrived at the threshing floor of Nacon, the oxen stumbled, and Uzzah reached out his hand and steadied the Ark of God.

Then the LORD's anger was aroused against Uzzah, and God struck him dead because of this. So Uzzah died right there beside the Ark of God.

     1) Here we go again with the savant deity of the people of Israel striking out at those who have rendered no harm WHATSOEVER. What the fuckey-doo is His freaking problem? And don't even try selling me on some crap about holy wrath. That is a bullshit answer and you know it. This guy did nothing wrong and God STILL struck him down. NICE.

     2) Sooo...what if this fellow did not reach out and try to steady the ark and it fell to the ground? Would God have killed him for that?

     3) If the ark can be damaged it is imperfect, right? Why does the LORD have an imperfect item representing Him when He is supposed to be perfect?

6. II Samuel 6:9
David was now afraid of the LORD, and he asked, "How can I ever bring the Ark of the LORD back into my care?"

     1) Are you telling me...that this is the FIRST TIME that David is afraid of the LORD?

7. II Samuel 6:12
12 Then King David was told, "The LORD has blessed Obed-edom's household and everything he has because of the Ark of God." So David went there and brought the Ark of God from the house of Obed-edom to the City of David with a great celebration.

     1) what really happened here that David was not so sure what would happen if he brought the ark to close to his own home and family, and so in order to find out what would happen left the ark at another guy's house to see how everything would turn out? Then when it turned out well, David decided to put it where originally he wanted to put it?

8. II Samuel 6:18
18 When he had finished his sacrifices, David blessed the people in the name of the LORD of Heaven's Armies.

     1) Again I ask...why WHY does the All-Powerful, All-Knowing God need an army?

     2) ANY omnipotent/omnipresent divine being that possesses, claims to possess, or demands an army should IMMEDIATELY raise every damn red flag in your freaking mind! WHY does the omnipotent/omnipresent LORD of the Bible have an army?

9. II Samuel 7:6
I have never lived in a house, from the day I brought the Israelites out of Egypt until this very day. I have always moved from one place to another with a tent and a Tabernacle as my dwelling.

     1) Why would the LORD need a place to live when He is supposed to be everywhere all of the time?

     2) Wouldn't it be impossible for the LORD/God to pick a place to live since He is already everywhere? To pick a place to live would mean He was not everywhere else He is already supposed to be, right? Wouldn't that negate being all-present?

10. II Samuel 7:13
13 He shall build a house for my name, and I will establish the throne of his kingdom forever.

     1) What is it with God and grandiose promises? The people of Israel are STILL waiting to be numbered as the stars of the heavens (never mind that an earth five times the size of the real earth STILL could not hold as many people that number as the stars in the heavens; I mean, the Milky Way alone has about one hundred thousand million stars! Times THAT by millions and MILLIONS of galaxies! Hah! The people of Israel are going to be waiting one hell of a long time.), and on top of that they are still waiting to receive this promised land that is supposed to be flowing with milk and honey, right? 

So far, all God has given for His mega promises is war, bloodshed, murder, theft of property, more war, even more blood spilled, loads of lies, blood, blood, blood, murder, mayhem, war, and a hell of a lot of heartache, correct?

11. II Samuel 7:14
14 I will be to him a father, and he shall be to me a son. When he commits iniquity, I will discipline him with the rod of men, with the stripes of the sons of men,

     1) Where in the world does God/the LORD get His definition of what it is to be a father to a son?

     2) When he commits iniquity? You mean GOD's version of iniquity or the reality version of iniquity?

     3) You know, please PLEASE if you are a Christian reading this please tell me why God/the LORD is not consistent and compassionate in His deliverance of justice throughout the Bible? Why do wrongdoers not always face the same punishment? Why would God/the LORD have mercy on one and not the other when He is a God of mercy?

     4) And where the hell does the compassion of God go when He does shit like flood the ENTIRE world or burn down entire cities to the ground after murdering everyone in the town? Doesn't God know that judgment and discipline without true compassion is not justice, but rather is revenge built upon anger?

     5) And if God is perfect why wouldn't He discipline the wrongdoer Himself instead of allowing men to do it when according to God's own words man consistently fails? I mean, let's take WWII, right? What was God using man to punish the Jews for there, hummm? When He saw the damn punishment going way fucking overboard WHY DIDN'T HE STOP IT?!!

12. II Samuel 7:15
15 but my steadfast love will not depart from him, as I took it from Saul, whom I put away from before you.

     1) Steadfast love? You gotta be fucking kidding me. If God's freaking love was so damn steadfast then where did the love of God that Saul had go?

     2) Another thing that bothers me about the love of God/the LORD is this: If God is love, and if God possesses all of the attributes of love, and if God is absolutely everywhere all of the time wouldn't that also apply to love? Shouldn't love also be omnipresent? And, if there cannot be found any place in the universe where God/the LORD is registered as a vacancy then shouldn't THIS ALSO apply to love? 

     3) BUT the best question is this: If God is everywhere, if you cannot hide from God, if you cannot excommunicate God from your presence, if God can always be found ANYWHERE you go, if part of the very definition of God is that He is everywhere for eternity no matter what (remember, that is part of God's steadfast nature and persistent truth and divine power),  HOW did God/the LORD pull off the trick in this verse of taking His love from Saul? 
     Sure, there is plenty of biblical evidence up to this point in the Bible that, yes indeed, God is definitely a 'taker' by far, but this cannot be so in the sense of God/the LORD removing any portion of Himself from anyone or anything, right? And WHY is that? Because to remove Himself would not only be to deny Himself, but it would, it would be a very clear indicator that God/the LORD is NOT omnipotent after all...for a main ingredient to true omnipotence is omnipresence, correct?

13. II Samuel 7:22
22 Therefore you are great, O LORD God. For there is none like you, and there is no God besides you, according to all that we have heard with our ears.

     1) There is none like the LORD God? Have you ever considered why? Maybe there is none like the LORD God in the sense that there is no one else desiring or even remotely willing to do the horribly mean crap that God does, you think?

     2) There is no God besides You, according to all that we have heard with our ears? Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe the reason why there is NO OTHER like God, and the reason the people have never heard of any other like God is because none of the other gods are as cruel, maniacal, pathological, demented, tyrannical, murderous, malicious, malignant, wicked, and evil as God/the LORD is?

14. II Samuel 7:23
23 What other nation on earth is like your people Israel? What other nation, O God, have you redeemed from slavery to be your own people? You made a great name for yourself when you redeemed your people from Egypt. You performed awesome miracles and drove out the nations and gods that stood in their way.

     1) What other nation on earth is like your people Israel? Hah! I guess that would depend on how many other nations follow the whims of a divine pathological savant Who, in addition to His problem with seething anger, also happens to possess immense power to inflict pain and suffering, right?

     2) What other nation has been redeemed from slavery? Hah! I guess that would depend on how many other cultures/specific groups of people God has purposely placed into the difficult and detestable service of others, right?

     3) You made a great name for yourself? WOW! Finally we stumble across a verse that accurately relays God's true purpose for man. See, God could give a rat's ass about Adam or Eve or Noah or Saul or David or the people of Israel or ANYONE AT ALL. What He DOES care about is making a name for Himself, correct?

15. II Samuel 7:24
24 And you established for yourself your people Israel to be your people forever. And you, O LORD, became their God.

     1) Really? REALLY? If King David could only see Israel today. If only...David could see Israel today. What do you think would cross David's mind when viewing the borders of all that is Israel today, a land no more than a sliver of what God PROMISED it would be? How about the constant fighting between Israel and the nations surrounding her when God PROMISED to protect them and allow them to flourish? What would go through the mind of King David if he watched the WWII footage of the concentration camps where MILLIONS upon MILLIONS of people were murdered, most of them Jews/God's own people? Do you think David would build an altar to his God and send for the animals that are supposed to be used in the fellowship sacrifice?

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