Ecclesiastes Part II

Ecclesiastes Part II

     Here we have the second posting for the Book of Ecclesiastes. This book of the Bible just gets screwier and screwier with some of the little stories and snippets of supposed wisdom that it contains. Many of the verses are in direct contradiction with other verses, almost to a point of aggravation. This is a truly ridiculous book of the Bible. How can people read this muck and harbor even an inkling of wanting to believe in this God that has inspired such filth?

1. Ecclesiastes 6:1-2

     1 I have seen another evil under the sun, and it weighs heavily on mankind:

     2 God gives some people wealth, possessions and honor, so that they lack nothing their hearts desire, but God does not grant them the ability to enjoy them, and strangers enjoy them instead. This is meaningless, a grievous evil.

Questions
     1. Why does God/the Lord give in little incomplete snippets and parcels that always turn out to be dark little gifts more along the lines of a behemoth Pandora's Box?

     2. How is a perfect God/Lord so persistently incomplete in His gift giving? Why is there always something left out?

     3. Is there something left out of God/the Lord? Is this why He is so erratic and absurd in His supposed gift giving? Is what is left out of God/the Lord glory? Is this lack of glory why He demands it from man?

     4. If God/the Lord created everything under the sun didn't He also create evil?

2. Ecclesiastes 6:3 

     3 A man may have a hundred children and live many years; yet no matter how long he lives, if he cannot enjoy his prosperity and does not receive proper burial, I say that a stillborn child is better off than he.

Questions
     1. What do children and many long years living and prosperity matter if everything is meaningless? Didn't this book mention in from the very start that everything is meaningless (Ecclesiastes 2:17-23)?

     2. Would the mother or father of the stillborn child agree with the last part of this verse?

3. Ecclesiastes 6:7

     7 Everyone’s toil is for their mouth, yet their appetite is never satisfied.

Questions
     1. But it is all meaningless, right? Sooo, it really does not matter whether it is toil or hunger it all means a big pile of bullshit, correct?

     2. Was Jesus' toil for His mouth?

     3. Is God's/the Lord's toil for His mouth? If so, if His appetite never satisfied?

4. Ecclesiastes 6:9

     9 Better what the eye sees than the roving of the appetite. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

Questions
     1. What happens if what the eyes see is not good? Would it not make sense for the eyes to rove to find something better?

     2. Is it meaningless to search for something better?

     3. Chasing the wind is NOT meaningless is it? Didn't God/the Lord know that you CAN catch the wind and convert its mighty power to energy?

5. Ecclesiastes 6:10

     10 Whatever exists has already been named, and what humanity is has been known; no one can contend with someone who is stronger.

Questions
     1. No one can contend with someone who is stronger? Really? How do you explain David and Goliath?

6. Ecclesiastes 7:1-2

     1 A good name is better than fine perfume, and the day of death better than the day of birth.

     2 It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.

Questions
     1. Ah, now a good name is said to be better than fine perfume. Doesn't Proverbs 22:1 say that a good name is better than riches? Why the change? Is this simply just another thing a good name is better than? Again, what does it freaking matter if everything is supposed to be meaningless? Is the Vanderbilt name better than Carolina Herrera perfume?

     2. The day of death better than the day of birth? For whom? For God/the Lord? What does He do with the dead? Eat them? Are people more useful to the Lord/God if they are dead? If people are more useful when they are dead then why give them life to begin with?

     3. Death is the destiny of everyone? What about Enoch and the prophet who was whisked away in a chariot of fire? How often does God fudge the rules?

     4. Why should the living take death to heart if everything is meaningless? Is death the only meaningful thing? Wouldn't that make God the God of death and not the God of life?

7. Ecclesiastes 7:3

     3 Frustration is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. 

Questions
     1. In Proverbs 17:22 it says that a merry heart is just like medicine but a broken spirit dries up the bones...sooo, what the fuck? Make up your freaking mind here, God. 

     2. If a merry heart is just like medicine and if frustration is better than laughter, wouldn't frustration also be counted as a medicine?

     3. If God considers frustration to be good medicine where in the hell did He get His medical knowledge or degree? A Cracker Jacked box?

8. Ecclesiastes 7:5

     5 It is better to heed the rebuke of a wise person than to listen to the song of fools.

Questions
     1. This is pure common sense, isn't it? There is nothing new being revealed here in some divine fashion, is there?

     2. I just don't know about this verse, right? Does this apply only to those being rebuked or to everyone in general to include those NOT being rebuked? I mean, if you consider a judge's decision to be rebuke of the wise does this verse infer that it would be better to listen to such than fun music?

     3. Sooo, if this applies to those who are not being rebuked would you rather read a court decision on a lengthy and boring contracts case OR listen to Gwen Stefani sing that her shit is bananas?

9. Ecclesiastes 7:12

     12 Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter, but the advantage of knowledge is this: Wisdom preserves those who have it.

Questions
     1. Sooo, wisdom preserves those who have it? But...doesn't Ecclesiastes 1:18 say that with much wisdom comes much sorrow?

     2. If much sorrow comes with wisdom and if wisdom is a shelter is all of that sorrow providing the shelter in full or part?

10. Ecclesiastes 7:13-15

     13 Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what he has made crooked?

     14 When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future.

     15 In this meaningless life of mine I have seen both of these: the righteous perishing in their righteousness, and the wicked living long in their wickedness. 

Questions
     1. Sooo, if God has made the good and the bad and the happy and the sad...He has ALSO made the meaningless, hasn't He?

     2. How can a perfect God make something meaningless?

     3. How can a righteous God make something meaningless ON PURPOSE (and everything God does and creates IS supposed to be for a reason and thus on purpose, right?)?

11. Ecclesiastes 7:17

     17 Do not be overwicked, and do not be a fool— why die before your time?

Questions
     1. So, if you are not supposed to be OVERwicked, is it okay to be a little wicked?

     2. Why not just say do not be wicked at all? Why use the term OVERwicked?

     3. Sooo, if being really wicked as well as a fool makes you kick the bucket before your time, what the freak happened to this implied rule when it comes to Hitler, Mussolini, and Stalin? Why didn't they die when they were kids or young men before they fucked up a good portion of the world for a really long time?

12. Ecclesiastes 7:19

     19 Wisdom makes one wise person more powerful than ten rulers in a city.

Questions
     1. Hah! God/the Lord must have never heard of politics, right? I mean, some of the biggest idiots EVER end up in charge and with more power than should ever be given or allowed to anyone, correct?

13. Ecclesiastes 8:4-5

     4 Since a king’s word is supreme, who can say to him, “What are you doing?”

     5 Whoever obeys his command will come to no harm, and the wise heart will know the proper time and procedure.

Questions
     1. Isn't the Lord/God supposed to be King, THE King? Lots of people obey His supposed commands and come to all sorts of harm (some of them even cause a lot of harm; some even harm themselves in the name of God their King), so what the freak happened to obeying the king and coming to no harm, hummm?

     2. A king's word may be supreme, sure, BUT when the king is issuing statements and words that are detrimental to his people shouldn't you absolutely question the king as to what the FUCK he is doing?

14. Ecclesiastes 8:7-8

     7 Since no one knows the future, who can tell someone else what is to come?

     8 As no one has power over the wind to contain it, so no one has power over the time of their death. As no one is discharged in time of war, so wickedness will not release those who practice it.

Questions
     1. But we CAN know the future, right? If there is nothing new under the sun (as so stated in Ecclesiastes 1:9) then there is nothing new when it comes to the future, correct?

     2. The future is not cloaked in utter darkness, is it? By reviewing past events and results and outcomes and merging those with current events and proposed actions, isn't it true that we can develop a fairly accurate idea of what the future will be?

     3. Does not knowing everything about the future mean that we do not know the future?

15. Ecclesiastes 8:14

     14 There is something else meaningless that occurs on earth: the righteous who get what the wicked deserve, and the wicked who get what the righteous deserve. This too, I say, is meaningless.

Questions
     1. Ecclesiastes 7:14 says that God has made the good times as well as the bad times. Lovely. Considering that, wouldn't it be fair and accurate to say that in this verse when the wicked get what the righteous deserve and when the righteous get what the wicked deserve THIS IS OF GOD'S DOING?

     2. All of this is supposed to be meaningless to boot. Why is God going about making all of this dastardly, meaningless shit? Why does God make bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people?

16. Ecclesiastes 9:2

     2 All share a common destiny—the righteous and the wicked, the good and the bad, the clean and the unclean, those who offer sacrifices and those who do not. As it is with the good, so with the sinful; as it is with those who take oaths, so with those who are afraid to take them.

Questions
     1. If this is the case then why do so many of the followers of God draw so many goddamn lines of separation?

     2. If this verse is the truth then why does God/the Lord create so much separation and division within man? If everything is so much the same why is God constantly trying to make things so very different in really fucked up ways?

17. Ecclesiastes 9:4

     4 Anyone who is among the living has hope —even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!

Questions
     1. Really? Doesn't Ecclesiastes 4:2 say that the dead who have already died are happier than the living? WTF kind of bipolar horseshit is going on here?

18. Ecclesiastes 9:5-6

     5 For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward, and even their name is forgotten.

     6 Their love, their hate and their jealousy have long since vanished; never again will they have a part in anything that happens under the sun.

Questions
     1. This is freaking lunacy, right? Doesn't Ecclesiastes 4:3 say that better is he who has never been born and who has never seen the evil under the sun? If that is the case WTF difference does it make whether or not the living know they will die?

19. Ecclesiastes 9:11-12

     11 I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.

     12 Moreover, no one knows when their hour will come: As fish are caught in a cruel net, or birds are taken in a snare, so people are trapped by evil times that fall unexpectedly upon them.

Questions
     1. This is so fucking stupid! Time and chance have NOTHING to do with ANYTHING, do they?! Read the goddamn Bible. Why do the Children of Israel win or lose? Why does anyone die? Why did the freaking Flood happen? Why is there pestilence and slavery and famine? Do you really think these things are from CHANCE and TIME? Fuck no! Isn't God/the Lord the One who manipulates everything to meet whatever ridiculous and absurd ends He has created?

     2. So, people are like fish in a net, an evil net? And WHO does this net belong to? WHO cast the net after purposely creating helpless little fish (the people) in a stinking toxic sea of hate and sorrow and suffering? WHO creates the unexpected evil?

20. Ecclesiastes 9:14-16

     14 There was once a small city with only a few people in it. And a powerful king came against it, surrounded it and built huge siege works against it.

     15 Now there lived in that city a man poor but wise, and he saved the city by his wisdom. But nobody remembered that poor man.

     16 So I said, “Wisdom is better than strength.” But the poor man’s wisdom is despised, and his words are no longer heeded.

Questions
     1. How freaking stupid is this story? So this wise but poor man saves everyone BUT no one remembers WTF he did to save everyone? No one remembers a word? If this guy who saved everyone was so insignificant how in the fuckey-doo do the people even remember he saved them to begin with, hummm?

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Job Part I: Just a Few Questions

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One of the Most Battered Men of the Bible

Sooo...we have made it to the book of Job. Yes! I have been looking forward to this one, especially with all of the amazingly jacked-up things that God allows to happen to Job...on purpose. Yes. Isn't God just the best pal ever?

1. Job 1:1

1 There once was a man named Job who lived in the land of Uz. He was blameless--a man of complete integrity. He feared God and stayed away from evil.

Questions

     1) So, right off the bat we can say this Job fellow is a really good guy?

2. Job 1:5

5 When these celebrations ended--sometimes after several days--Job would purify his children. He would get up early in the morning and offer a burnt offering for each of them. For Job said to himself, "Perhaps my children have sinned and have cursed God in their hearts." This was Job's regular practice.

Questions

     1) Is this the old theme of paying for the sin of another?

     2) Does God/the LORD like this theme because it gives Him clearance to punish the innocent?

3. Job 1:6-7

6 One day the members of the heavenly court came to present themselves before the LORD, and the Accuser, Satan, came with them.

7 The LORD said to Satan, “From where have you come?” Satan answered the LORD and said, “From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.”

Questions

     1) Really? As if God/the LORD didn't know that Satan would show up at the party? Seriously? From where have you come? Why does God/the LORD play stupid? Does He think it is cute or endearing?

4. Job 1:8

8 Then the LORD asked Satan, "Have you noticed my servant Job? He is the finest man in all the earth. He is blameless--a man of complete integrity. He fears God and stays away from evil."

Questions

     1) Don't you think that God/the LORD totally baits Satan here?

     2) Would you say God is being a bit of a braggart here? Wouldn't that be a sin? If it is not considered a sin is that because it is God doing it?

5. Job 1:11-12

11 But reach out and take away everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face!"

12 "All right, you may test him," the LORD said to Satan. "Do whatever you want with everything he possesses, but don't harm him physically." So Satan left the LORD's presence.

Questions

     1) Was God/the LORD looking for a reason to hurt someone?

     2) Sooo...it was okay to hurt Job's family but not Job? Is that supposed to make anything better, or God less guilty?

     3) Here God is more or less giving Satan permission to fuck Job up, right?

6. Job 1:21

21 He said, "I came naked from my mother's womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The LORD gave me what I had, and the LORD has taken it away. Praise the name of the LORD!"

Questions

     1) Is the reason that Job doesn't complain because in reality he knows, he knows that God/the LORD could make it oh so much worse?

7. Job 1:22

22 In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong.

Questions

     1) Job does not do this out of love, does he? He does it out of FEAR, doesn't he?

8. Job 2:1-3

1 One day the members of the heavenly court came again to present themselves before the LORD, and the Accuser, Satan, came with them.

2 "Where have you come from?" the LORD asked Satan. Satan answered the LORD, "I have been patrolling the earth, watching everything that's going on."

3 Then the LORD asked Satan, "Have you noticed my servant Job? He is the finest man in all the earth. He is blameless--a man of complete integrity. He fears God and stays away from evil. And he has maintained his integrity, even though you urged me to harm him without cause."

Questions

     1) Oh wow. Same story, different verses? What the hell is up with this cheapie version of religious story-telling?

9. Job 2:6

6 "All right, do with him as you please," the LORD said to Satan. "But spare his life."

Questions

     1) Sooo...would this qualify as conspiracy to inflict great bodily harm?

     2) Isn't this verse saying the LORD is giving Satan permission to beat Job within an inch of his life?

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I Kings Part VII: Just a Few Questions

A Procession of Kings, A Procession of Problems

Sooo...how do you like the procession of the kings so far for the people of Israel? It is like a soap opera, and as it runs on and on the writers decide to get crazier and crazier with the story, right?

1. I Kings 16:11-13

11 Zimri immediately killed the entire royal family of Baasha, leaving him not even a single male child. He even destroyed distant relatives and friends.

12 So Zimri destroyed the dynasty of Baasha as the LORD had promised through the prophet Jehu.

13 This happened because of all the sins Baasha and his son Elah had committed, and because of the sins they led Israel to commit. They provoked the anger of the LORD, the God of Israel, with their worthless idols.

Questions
     1) Why did Zimri kill the friends? The friends are not part of the royal family, so what the hell kind of purpose was served by murdering people who had no access to the throne?

     2) When you read the above verses did you get the feeling that there is something strangely subliminal/subconscious going on? These verses seem to have a curious tone about them, I thought. 

It is almost as if they are trying to imply that God/the LORD is not the one responsible for any of this bizzaro behavior, that man acted entirely and completely ON HIS OWN without any type of interference from anyone at anytime, that God/the LORD informed the prophet Jehu almost as a heads-up courtesy (because who knows who might be able to take the information of the impending doom and turn it into something good?) as to the even bigger load of shit that was about to slam the fan of the people of Israel, and, perhaps most disturbing of all, that EVERYTHING that has befallen man in these ridiculous situations of divinely measured and punished insolence/disobedience is the fault and problem of man and man alone. This registers fairly high on the creep-o-meter, don't you think?

     3) Can you think of any reason that an all-powerful Being would be working behind the scenes to manipulate people into thinking a situation followed a certain pattern when in fact it did not?

     4) Why/how is God/the LORD provoked  when HE knew everything that would happen, wanted it to happen, needed it to happen, and definitely made sure that it happened?

     5) If the friggin idols were so damn worthless then why was the LORD/God so badly bothered and jealous and threatened by them?

     6) If the friggin idols were so damn worthless, and if the people of Israel chose to worship those idols instead of the LORD/God...what does THAT say about what at least some of the people of Israel thought about the LORD/God?

2. I Kings 16:25-26

25 Omri did what was evil in the sight of the LORD, and did more evil than all who were before him.

26 For he walked in all the way of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, and in the sins that he made Israel to sin, provoking the LORD, the God of Israel, to anger by their idols.

Questions
     1) Omri did MORE evil than all the others? Is this unsupported assertion supposed to make people not care about what happens to him or his family, not care about why he did what he did, and not care that many people are being/will be forced to pay for the purported sins of this man?

3. I Kings 16:30-31

30 And Ahab the son of Omri did evil in the sight of the LORD, more than all who were before him.

31 And as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, he took for his wife Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal king of the Sidonians, and went and served Baal and worshiped him.

Questions
     1) Ahhh...so now it is Ahab who has done more evil than all of those before him?

4. I Kings 17:1-5

1 Now Elijah, who was from Tishbe in Gilead, told King Ahab, "As surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives--the God I serve--there will be no dew or rain during the next few years until I give the word!"

2 And the word of the LORD came to him:

3 “Depart from here and turn eastward and hide yourself by the brook Cherith, which is east of the Jordan.

4 You shall drink from the brook, and I have commanded the ravens to feed you there.”

5 So he went and did according to the word of the LORD. He went and lived by the brook Cherith that is east of the Jordan.

Questions
     1) No dew or rain during the next few years, hummm? I bet the people of Israel thought their days of parched bellies and dry lips were left back in the desert they stumbled out of when they arrived to take possession of the promised land, right?

     2) Okay, sooo...God is all-powerful and all-this and all-that, the ultimate protector, BUT His own prophet has to hide...and this all-powerful God is the One Who told the prophet to hide?

5. I Kings 17:12-14

12 And she said, “As the LORD your God lives, I have nothing baked, only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. And now I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it and die.”

13 And Elijah said to her, “Do not fear; go and do as you have said. But first make me a little cake of it and bring it to me, and afterward make something for yourself and your son.

14 For thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, ‘The jar of flour shall not be spent, and the jug of oil shall not be empty, until the day that the LORD sends rain upon the earth.’”

Questions
     1) Well, doesn't verse 12 imply that the people of Israel are still waiting for the land to produce its flowing milk and honey?

     2) What was the purpose of responding with "Do not fear"? Sure, the woman said she was going to prepare her and her son's last meal...and then die...but she does not sound fearful, but rather sounds resigned to her fate, right?

     3) Feed the prophet of the LORD/God first and THEN feed the starving mother and child? What does this tell you about the priorities of this wonderfully loving, amazingly compassionate God/LORD?

     4) Sooo...you have all of these people in Israel dying from thirst and starving BUT God/the LORD sees fit to provide food ONLY for the woman, her son, His prophet, and fuck everyone else?

     5) Sooo...are we supposed to be surprised and impressed by this never ending supply of food for three people?

6. I Kings 17:15-16

15 And she went and did as Elijah said. And she and he and her household ate for many days.

16 The jar of flour was not spent, neither did the jug of oil become empty, according to the word of the LORD that he spoke by Elijah.

Questions
     1) Who gives a shit how many days the woman, her son, and God's prophet ate from the never ending food supply? Jesus Christ, we have an ENTIRE PEOPLE that need to eat and drink, correct?

     2) I am not impressed by the magic jug and magic jar, but I am depressed by how God/the LORD is treating all of these people, HIS CHILDREN, aren't you?

7. I Kings 17:17-21

17 After this the son of the woman, the mistress of the house, became ill. And his illness was so severe that there was no breath left in him.

18 And she said to Elijah, “What have you against me, O man of God? You have come to me to bring my sin to remembrance and to cause the death of my son!”

19 And he said to her, “Give me your son.” And he took him from her arms and carried him up into the upper chamber where he lodged, and laid him on his own bed.

20 Then Elijah cried out to the LORD, "O LORD my God, why have you brought tragedy to this widow who has opened her home to me, causing her son to die?"

21 Then he stretched himself upon the child three times and cried to the LORD, “O LORD my God, let this child’s life come into him again.”

Questions
     1) Illness so severe he had no breath left? Was it an asthma attack? COPD? A pulmonary disorder?

     2) Verse 18 is hilarious, right? This woman wants to know what the prophet has against her to cause the death of her son? Doesn't this stupid bitch remember at the beginning of this story she herself was prepared to make herself and her son some kind of cakes and then die from starvation? The likelihood of death was already there when Mr. Prophet rode into town, right?

     3) We already know that the LORD/God is a severely twisted sadist, so we do not have to ask why He let this happen. What should be asked is what the fuckey-doo is the deal with the prophet stretching himself out ON the boy three times? I gotta tell you...this sounds ALL WRONG, doesn't it?

8. I Kings 17:24

24 Then the woman said to Elijah, "Now I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the LORD from your mouth is the truth."

Questions
     1) Sooo...does this mean that this whole time the woman did NOT believe this prophet guy was a real prophet of the LORD?

9. I Kings 18:1

1 After many days the word of the LORD came to Elijah, in the third year, saying, “Go, show yourself to Ahab, and I will send rain upon the earth.”

Questions
     1) Does God/the LORD use drought and famine as a means of culling the people who worship Him?

10. I Kings 18:22-24

22 Then Elijah said to them, "I am the only prophet of the LORD who is left, but Baal has 450 prophets.

23 Now bring two bulls. The prophets of Baal may choose whichever one they wish and cut it into pieces and lay it on the wood of their altar, but without setting fire to it. I will prepare the other bull and lay it on the wood on the altar, but not set fire to it.

24 And you call upon the name of your god, and I will call upon the name of the LORD, and the God who answers by fire, he is God.” And all the people answered, “It is well spoken.”

Questions
     1) Sooo...is God/the LORD trying to make Himself look outnumbered in order to make His 'victory' over Baal look even more amazing and miraculous?

     2) Sooo...God's prophet and the prophets of Baal BOTH use altars, BOTH use animals in sacrifice, BOTH cut up the animals and put the pieces on the altar, and when following through with their worship ritual BOTH burn the animal carcass, correct?

     3) Sooo...the only true difference between the sacrifice rituals of Elijah and the sacrifice rituals of the prophets of Baal is the NAME of the pretend individual being sacrificed to?

11. I Kings 18:27-29

27 About noontime Elijah began mocking them. "You'll have to shout louder," he scoffed, "for surely he is a god! Perhaps he is daydreaming, or is relieving himself. Or maybe he is away on a trip, or is asleep and needs to be wakened!"

28 So they shouted louder, and following their normal custom, they cut themselves with knives and swords until the blood gushed out.

29 They raved all afternoon until the time of the evening sacrifice, but still there was no sound, no reply, no response.

Questions
     1) Well, what have we here but a FINE example of what many modern day believers claim they are subjected to: ridicule and mockery. Do you think Elijah would appreciate people mocking his God?

     2) What makes it okay for Elijah to mock people who worship a different God, but it is NOT okay for anyone to rail and mock Elijah's God?

     3) Want to try something interesting? Consider verse 27. Now, take this verse, the meaning and words of this verse, and then apply it to modern day troubles and terrible situations, okay? Think about 9/11, the Japan tsunami, the mega quake in Mexico in the mid eighties...yada-yada, plucka-plucka...and ask them where their God was when these terrible things happened. Was He in traffic? Was He too busy? Was He angry with man? Was He out doing laundry?

12. I Kings 18:36-37

36 At the usual time for offering the evening sacrifice, Elijah the prophet walked up to the altar and prayed, "O LORD, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, prove today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant. Prove that I have done all this at your command.

37 Answer me, O LORD, answer me, that this people may know that you, O LORD, are God, and that you have turned their hearts back.”

Questions
     1) What the fuck is Elijah talking about turning the hearts of the people back to God? This is NOT what happens or will happen here, right? There is no deliberate effort to truly turn their hearts back to God, is there?

13. I Kings 18:38-40
38 Immediately the fire of the LORD flashed down from heaven and burned up the young bull, the wood, the stones, and the dust. It even licked up all the water in the trench!

39 And when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces and said, “The LORD, he is God; the LORD, he is God.”

40 Then Elijah commanded, "Seize all the prophets of Baal. Don't let a single one escape!" So the people seized them all, and Elijah took them down to the Kishon Valley and killed them there.

Questions
     1) Doesn't God know that frightening people into believing in Him does not qualify as the same people having turned their hearts back to Him?

     2) God is supposed to be Truth, correct? Would you agree that coercion is NOT akin to truth? 

     3) Here in this particular chapter in I Kings we very clearly see that FEAR is again utilized by God as a tool to encourage the people to change back to worshiping God alone, correct? Sooo...if God is the ultimate in truth, and if God decided that the best way to get His people back was to scare them to death, and if coercion is NOT akin to truth...doesn't that significantly alter the characteristics that define God/the LORD?

     4) If God/the LORD is using coercion to make people believe in Him, and if coercion is NOT truth doesn't that then mean that God/the LORD is a liar and most certainly NOT worthy or deserving of the attention or praise He receives?

14. I Kings 18:44-46
44 Finally the seventh time, his servant told him, "I saw a little cloud about the size of a man's hand rising from the sea." Then Elijah shouted, "Hurry to Ahab and tell him, 'Climb into your chariot and go back home. If you don't hurry, the rain will stop you!'"

45 And in a little while the heavens grew black with clouds and wind, and there was a great rain. And Ahab rode and went to Jezreel.

46 Then the LORD gave special strength to Elijah. He tucked his cloak into his belt and ran ahead of Ahab's chariot all the way to the entrance of Jezreel.

Questions
     1) How in the blazing blue did the servant happen to spot a little cloud the size of a man's hand rising from the damn sea, hummm?

     2) Sooo...Elijah was granted special powers by God to run super fast? Do you suppose the process to grant the prophet this power was like in that old television show starring Lee Majors, uhmmm...the Six Million Dollar Man? You know the one. I can see it now, right? God and His other two personalities getting ready for surgery on Elijah. God says to His other selves, "Gentlemen, We have the technology..."

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