II Kings Part II: Just a Few Questions

More of the Seriously Disturbing

Well, as you have surely seen by now the Bible is chock full of some seriously disturbing material, is it not? Sure, I have a way of putting some of the questions I pose, but after reading the material can you really blame me? If you CAN please say so in the comments section.

1. II Kings 17:32-39

32 They also feared the LORD and appointed from among themselves all sorts of people as priests of the high places, who sacrificed for them in the shrines of the high places.

33 So they feared the LORD but also served their own gods, after the manner of the nations from among whom they had been carried away.

34 To this day they do according to the former manner. They do not fear the LORD, and they do not follow the statutes or the rules or the law or the commandment that the LORD commanded the children of Jacob, whom he named Israel.

35 The LORD made a covenant with them and commanded them, “You shall not fear other gods or bow yourselves to them or serve them or sacrifice to them,

36 but you shall fear the LORD, who brought you out of the land of Egypt with great power and with an outstretched arm. You shall bow yourselves to him, and to him you shall sacrifice.

37 And the statutes and the rules and the law and the commandment that he wrote for you, you shall always be careful to do. You shall not fear other gods,

38 and you shall not forget the covenant that I have made with you. You shall not fear other gods,

39 but you shall fear the LORD your God, and he will deliver you out of the hand of all your enemies.”

Questions

     1) Jesus Christ...how many times are they going to use the word fear?

2. II Kings 19:35

35 And that night the angel of the LORD went out and struck down 185,000 in the camp of the Assyrians. And when people arose early in the morning, behold, these were all dead bodies.

Questions

     1) Say, is this another example of God's fighting dirty techniques?

3. II Kings 21:3

3 For he rebuilt the high places that Hezekiah his father had destroyed, and he erected altars for Baal and made an Asherah, as Ahab king of Israel had done, and worshiped all the host of heaven and served them.

Questions
     1) Sooo...there ARE other gods with at least some powers?

4. II Kings 21:6

6 And he burned his son as an offering and used fortune-telling and omens and dealt with mediums and with necromancers. He did much evil in the sight of the LORD, provoking him to anger.

Questions
     1) Sooo...this guy did all of these no-no things and only provoked the LORD/God?

     2) But someone else who did not believe in the LORD/God and who did these things would have been totally annihilated, right?

5. II Kings 21:8

8 I will not again make the feet of the Israelites wander from the land I gave their ancestors, if only they will be careful to do everything I commanded them and will keep the whole Law that my servant Moses gave them."

Questions
     1) Ahhh...this is one of those great deals where only God/the LORD wins, right?

     2) Isn't this an unconscionable or boiler plate contract?

6. II Kings 21:9-11

9 But they did not listen, and Manasseh led them astray to do more evil than the nations had done whom the LORD destroyed before the people of Israel.

10 And the LORD said by his servants the prophets,

11 “Because Manasseh king of Judah has committed these abominations and has done things more evil than all that the Amorites did, who were before him, and has made Judah also to sin with his idols

Questions
     1) Is any of this anywhere near fair?

     2) Is this an example of entrapment of man by God/the LORD?

7. II Kings 21:12-14

12 therefore thus says the LORD, the God of Israel: Behold, I am bringing upon Jerusalem and Judah such disaster that the ears of everyone who hears of it will tingle.

13 And I will stretch over Jerusalem the measuring line of Samaria, and the plumb line of the house of Ahab, and I will wipe Jerusalem as one wipes a dish, wiping it and turning it upside down.

14 And I will forsake the remnant of my heritage and give them into the hand of their enemies, and they shall become a prey and a spoil to all their enemies,

Questions
     1) Well...thanks for the warning, Pal, right?

8. II Kings 21:15-16

15 because they have done what is evil in my sight and have provoked me to anger, since the day their fathers came out of Egypt, even to this day.”

16 Moreover, Manasseh shed very much innocent blood, till he had filled Jerusalem from one end to another, besides the sin that he made Judah to sin so that they did what was evil in the sight of the LORD.

Questions
     1) Excuses, excuses, excuses. Is this the best God can do?

9. II Kings 21:22

22 He abandoned the LORD, the God of his fathers, and did not walk in the way of the LORD.

Questions
     1) Of course he forsook the LORD! For Pete's sake...look at verses 14, 15, and 16, right?

10. II Kings 21:23

23 And the servants of Amon conspired against him and put the king to death in his house.

Questions

     1) Sooo...I take it there is NO respect for royalty and kingship? Tell me, how will this work out for Jesus? After Jesus?

11. II Kings 22:16-17

16 Thus says the LORD, Behold, I will bring disaster upon this place and upon its inhabitants, all the words of the book that the king of Judah has read.

17 Because they have forsaken me and have made offerings to other gods, that they might provoke me to anger with all the work of their hands, therefore my wrath will be kindled against this place, and it will not be quenched.

Questions
     1) But God deserves  disregard, doesn't He?

12. II Kings 22:19-20

19 because your heart was penitent, and you humbled yourself before the LORD, when you heard how I spoke against this place and against its inhabitants, that they should become a desolation and a curse, and you have torn your clothes and wept before me, I also have heard you, declares the LORD.

20 Therefore, behold, I will gather you to your fathers, and you shall be gathered to your grave in peace, and your eyes shall not see all the disaster that I will bring upon this place.’” And they brought back word to the king.

Questions
     1) Wow...someone has control issues, don't they?

13. II Kings 23:14

14 And he broke in pieces the pillars and cut down the Asherim and filled their places with the bones of men.

Questions
     1) What is it with God and the Bible and desecration of corpses?

14. II Kings 23:24

24 Moreover, Josiah put away the mediums and the necromancers and the household gods and the idols and all the abominations that were seen in the land of Judah and in Jerusalem, that he might establish the words of the law that were written in the book that Hilkiah the priest found in the house of the LORD.

Questions
     1) Sooo...no psychics due to the control issues?

15. II Kings 25:3

3 On the ninth day of the fourth month the famine was so severe in the city that there was no food for the people of the land.

Questions
     1) Wow...I would say God is the worst parent ever. Don't you think so?

16. II Kings 25:7

7 They slaughtered the sons of Zedekiah before his eyes, and put out the eyes of Zedekiah and bound him in chains and took him to Babylon.

Questions
     1) This is SO freaking horrible and so barbaric, isn't it?

17. II Kings 25:9

9 And he burned the house of the LORD and the king’s house and all the houses of Jerusalem; every great house he burned down.

Questions
     1) Sooo...so much for God's people lasting forever, right?

18. II Kings 25:26

26 Then all the people, both small and great, and the captains of the forces arose and went to Egypt, for they were afraid of the Chaldeans.

Questions
     1) Uhmmm...didn't it say in Exodus and Deuteronomy that they would never again go into Egypt?


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II Kings Part I: Just a Few Questions

We have made it to II Kings!!

We have made it all the way to II Kings! Hasn't it been a real ordeal so far? Yes, it has been. Especially for me, right? I mean, I am actually reading through all of this stuff to find interesting verses and made comments and ask questions. I tell you...sometimes I just have to push the book, the Bible that is, AWAY and go for a walk or take a couple of days off. It is some of the screwiest stuff ever. EVER. And I read a LOT of Stephen King...sooo...yeah. Anyways, let's get this show on the road.

1. II Kings 1:9-13

9 Then the king sent to him a captain of fifty men with his fifty. He went up to Elijah, who was sitting on the top of a hill, and said to him, “O man of God, the king says, ‘Come down.’”

10 But Elijah answered the captain of fifty, “If I am a man of God, let fire come down from heaven and consume you and your fifty.” Then fire came down from heaven and consumed him and his fifty.

11 Again the king sent to him another captain of fifty men with his fifty. And he answered and said to him, “O man of God, this is the king’s order, ‘Come down quickly!’”

12 But Elijah answered them, “If I am a man of God, let fire come down from heaven and consume you and your fifty.” Then the fire of God came down from heaven and consumed him and his fifty.

13 Again the king sent the captain of a third fifty with his fifty. And the third captain of fifty went up and came and fell on his knees before Elijah and entreated him, “O man of God, please let my life, and the life of these fifty servants of yours, be precious in your sight.

Questions

     1) Sooo...the lives of the previously roasted soldiers were not precious?

     2) What was the point of killing the men?

     3) Is this God's sadistic humor?

2. II Kings 2:11

11 And as they still went on and talked, behold, chariots of fire and horses of fire separated the two of them. And Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven.

Questions

     1) Is this a freaking UFO story?

3. II Kings 2:15

15 Now when the sons of the prophets who were at Jericho saw him opposite them, they said, “The spirit of Elijah rests on Elisha.” And they came to meet him and bowed to the ground before him.

Questions

     1) Is this why so many people listen to so many others who claim to be prophets...the power and the mystery?

4. II Kings 2:23-24

23 He went up from there to Bethel, and while he was going up on the way, some small boys came out of the city and jeered at him, saying, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!”

24 And he turned around, and when he saw them, he cursed them in the name of the LORD. And two she-bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys.

Questions

     1) Really? Are you fucking serious? A man of God couldn't take the jibes of little kids, huh?

     2) More of God's suffering the little children unto Him?

     3) Isn't this an abuse of God's power right along with a good sprinkling of intolerance, unjustifiable judgment and punishment?

     4) Cursing in the name of Jehovah? Is this like the inverse of blasphemy?

5. II Kings 3:26-27

26 When the king of Moab saw that the battle was going against him, he took with him 700 swordsmen to break through, opposite the king of Edom, but they could not.

27 Then he took his oldest son who was to reign in his place and offered him for a burnt offering on the wall. And there came great wrath against Israel. And they withdrew from him and returned to their own land.

Questions

     1) Oh, look! No different from the pagans and the heathens, are they? Wait...they ARE the pagans and heathens, right? But...didn't GOD try to get people to sacrifice their kids? What the hell is going on?

6. II Kings 4:33-35

33 So he went in and shut the door behind the two of them and prayed to the LORD.

34 Then he went up and lay on the child, putting his mouth on his mouth, his eyes on his eyes, and his hands on his hands. And as he stretched himself upon him, the flesh of the child became warm.

35 Then he got up again and walked once back and forth in the house, and went up and stretched himself upon him. The child sneezed seven times, and the child opened his eyes.

Questions

     1) Well now, HERE is a recycled story, right?

     2) Doesn't this STILL sound all wrong?

7. II Kings 6:4-7

4 So he went with them. And when they came to the Jordan, they cut down trees.

5 But as one was felling a log, his axe head fell into the water, and he cried out, “Alas, my master! It was borrowed.”

6 Then the man of God said, “Where did it fall?” When he showed him the place, he cut off a stick and threw it in there and made the iron float.

7 And he said, “Take it up.” So he reached out his hand and took it.

Questions

     1) How deep was the water?

     2) What purpose was served by this story?

     3) Wow...an AX floats. So fucking what, right? I mean, aren't the people freaking starving? Float a freaking banquet to the surface, right?

8. II Kings 6:28-30

28 And the king asked her, “What is your trouble?” She answered, “This woman said to me, ‘Give your son, that we may eat him today, and we will eat my son tomorrow.’

29 So we boiled my son and ate him. And on the next day I said to her, ‘Give your son, that we may eat him.’ But she has hidden her son.”

30 When the king heard the words of the woman, he tore his clothes—now he was passing by on the wall—and the people looked, and behold, he had sackcloth beneath on his body—

Questions

     1) Holy shit! Yikes. Doesn't this sink the idea of suffer the little children to an all new low?

9. II Kings 9:34-36

34 Then he went in and ate and drank. And he said, “See now to this cursed woman and bury her, for she is a king’s daughter.”

35 But when they went to bury her, they found no more of her than the skull and the feet and the palms of her hands.

36 When they came back and told him, he said, “This is the word of the LORD, which he spoke by his servant Elijah the Tishbite, ‘In the territory of Jezreel the dogs shall eat the flesh of Jezebel,

Questions

     1) Oh bullshit! All that was left were the hands, feet, and skull? What did the dogs do? Walk away with the fucking pelvis? Femurs? REALLY? Were these dogs Great Danes? Mastiffs?

10. II Kings 9:37

37 and the corpse of Jezebel shall be as dung on the face of the field in the territory of Jezreel, so that no one can say, This is Jezebel.’”

Questions

     1) Corpse desecration?

     2) Does God approve of corpse desecration so long as it is done to the enemy?

11. II Kings 13:21

21 And as a man was being buried, behold, a marauding band was seen and the man was thrown into the grave of Elisha, and as soon as the man touched the bones of Elisha, he revived and stood on his feet.

Questions

     1) Sooo...the dead guy doesn't have the power to keep himself alive, but his bones have the power to make another dead man come to life?

12. II Kings 14:6

6 But he did not put to death the children of the murderers, according to what is written in the Book of the Law of Moses, where the LORD commanded, “Fathers shall not be put to death because of their children, nor shall children be put to death because of their fathers. But each one shall die for his own sin.”

Questions

     1) Where in the Old Testament does it REALLY work out like this?

     2) Maybe a better question would be how many times in the Old Testament do children end up paying for the sins of their fathers?

     3) This is a crock of crap, ISN'T it?

13. II Kings 17:9

9 And the people of Israel did secretly against the LORD their God things that were not right. They built for themselves high places in all their towns, from watchtower to fortified city.

Questions

     1) Secretly? Secretly? If these people knew anything about their bipolar God SURELY they knew you can't fucking HIDE anything from Him, right?

14. II Kings 17:25

25 And at the beginning of their dwelling there, they did not fear the LORD. Therefore the LORD sent lions among them, which killed some of them.

Questions

     1) Tell me, and be completely honest...is this or is this not seriously, SERIOUSLY disturbing?

     2) Is this your God that you worship? Do you approve of this or do you shrink away from that question by claiming you have no right to approve or disapprove of anything that your God does?

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I Kings Part VII: Just a Few Questions

A Procession of Kings, A Procession of Problems

Sooo...how do you like the procession of the kings so far for the people of Israel? It is like a soap opera, and as it runs on and on the writers decide to get crazier and crazier with the story, right?

1. I Kings 16:11-13

11 Zimri immediately killed the entire royal family of Baasha, leaving him not even a single male child. He even destroyed distant relatives and friends.

12 So Zimri destroyed the dynasty of Baasha as the LORD had promised through the prophet Jehu.

13 This happened because of all the sins Baasha and his son Elah had committed, and because of the sins they led Israel to commit. They provoked the anger of the LORD, the God of Israel, with their worthless idols.

Questions
     1) Why did Zimri kill the friends? The friends are not part of the royal family, so what the hell kind of purpose was served by murdering people who had no access to the throne?

     2) When you read the above verses did you get the feeling that there is something strangely subliminal/subconscious going on? These verses seem to have a curious tone about them, I thought. 

It is almost as if they are trying to imply that God/the LORD is not the one responsible for any of this bizzaro behavior, that man acted entirely and completely ON HIS OWN without any type of interference from anyone at anytime, that God/the LORD informed the prophet Jehu almost as a heads-up courtesy (because who knows who might be able to take the information of the impending doom and turn it into something good?) as to the even bigger load of shit that was about to slam the fan of the people of Israel, and, perhaps most disturbing of all, that EVERYTHING that has befallen man in these ridiculous situations of divinely measured and punished insolence/disobedience is the fault and problem of man and man alone. This registers fairly high on the creep-o-meter, don't you think?

     3) Can you think of any reason that an all-powerful Being would be working behind the scenes to manipulate people into thinking a situation followed a certain pattern when in fact it did not?

     4) Why/how is God/the LORD provoked  when HE knew everything that would happen, wanted it to happen, needed it to happen, and definitely made sure that it happened?

     5) If the friggin idols were so damn worthless then why was the LORD/God so badly bothered and jealous and threatened by them?

     6) If the friggin idols were so damn worthless, and if the people of Israel chose to worship those idols instead of the LORD/God...what does THAT say about what at least some of the people of Israel thought about the LORD/God?

2. I Kings 16:25-26

25 Omri did what was evil in the sight of the LORD, and did more evil than all who were before him.

26 For he walked in all the way of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, and in the sins that he made Israel to sin, provoking the LORD, the God of Israel, to anger by their idols.

Questions
     1) Omri did MORE evil than all the others? Is this unsupported assertion supposed to make people not care about what happens to him or his family, not care about why he did what he did, and not care that many people are being/will be forced to pay for the purported sins of this man?

3. I Kings 16:30-31

30 And Ahab the son of Omri did evil in the sight of the LORD, more than all who were before him.

31 And as if it had been a light thing for him to walk in the sins of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, he took for his wife Jezebel the daughter of Ethbaal king of the Sidonians, and went and served Baal and worshiped him.

Questions
     1) Ahhh...so now it is Ahab who has done more evil than all of those before him?

4. I Kings 17:1-5

1 Now Elijah, who was from Tishbe in Gilead, told King Ahab, "As surely as the LORD, the God of Israel, lives--the God I serve--there will be no dew or rain during the next few years until I give the word!"

2 And the word of the LORD came to him:

3 “Depart from here and turn eastward and hide yourself by the brook Cherith, which is east of the Jordan.

4 You shall drink from the brook, and I have commanded the ravens to feed you there.”

5 So he went and did according to the word of the LORD. He went and lived by the brook Cherith that is east of the Jordan.

Questions
     1) No dew or rain during the next few years, hummm? I bet the people of Israel thought their days of parched bellies and dry lips were left back in the desert they stumbled out of when they arrived to take possession of the promised land, right?

     2) Okay, sooo...God is all-powerful and all-this and all-that, the ultimate protector, BUT His own prophet has to hide...and this all-powerful God is the One Who told the prophet to hide?

5. I Kings 17:12-14

12 And she said, “As the LORD your God lives, I have nothing baked, only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. And now I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it and die.”

13 And Elijah said to her, “Do not fear; go and do as you have said. But first make me a little cake of it and bring it to me, and afterward make something for yourself and your son.

14 For thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, ‘The jar of flour shall not be spent, and the jug of oil shall not be empty, until the day that the LORD sends rain upon the earth.’”

Questions
     1) Well, doesn't verse 12 imply that the people of Israel are still waiting for the land to produce its flowing milk and honey?

     2) What was the purpose of responding with "Do not fear"? Sure, the woman said she was going to prepare her and her son's last meal...and then die...but she does not sound fearful, but rather sounds resigned to her fate, right?

     3) Feed the prophet of the LORD/God first and THEN feed the starving mother and child? What does this tell you about the priorities of this wonderfully loving, amazingly compassionate God/LORD?

     4) Sooo...you have all of these people in Israel dying from thirst and starving BUT God/the LORD sees fit to provide food ONLY for the woman, her son, His prophet, and fuck everyone else?

     5) Sooo...are we supposed to be surprised and impressed by this never ending supply of food for three people?

6. I Kings 17:15-16

15 And she went and did as Elijah said. And she and he and her household ate for many days.

16 The jar of flour was not spent, neither did the jug of oil become empty, according to the word of the LORD that he spoke by Elijah.

Questions
     1) Who gives a shit how many days the woman, her son, and God's prophet ate from the never ending food supply? Jesus Christ, we have an ENTIRE PEOPLE that need to eat and drink, correct?

     2) I am not impressed by the magic jug and magic jar, but I am depressed by how God/the LORD is treating all of these people, HIS CHILDREN, aren't you?

7. I Kings 17:17-21

17 After this the son of the woman, the mistress of the house, became ill. And his illness was so severe that there was no breath left in him.

18 And she said to Elijah, “What have you against me, O man of God? You have come to me to bring my sin to remembrance and to cause the death of my son!”

19 And he said to her, “Give me your son.” And he took him from her arms and carried him up into the upper chamber where he lodged, and laid him on his own bed.

20 Then Elijah cried out to the LORD, "O LORD my God, why have you brought tragedy to this widow who has opened her home to me, causing her son to die?"

21 Then he stretched himself upon the child three times and cried to the LORD, “O LORD my God, let this child’s life come into him again.”

Questions
     1) Illness so severe he had no breath left? Was it an asthma attack? COPD? A pulmonary disorder?

     2) Verse 18 is hilarious, right? This woman wants to know what the prophet has against her to cause the death of her son? Doesn't this stupid bitch remember at the beginning of this story she herself was prepared to make herself and her son some kind of cakes and then die from starvation? The likelihood of death was already there when Mr. Prophet rode into town, right?

     3) We already know that the LORD/God is a severely twisted sadist, so we do not have to ask why He let this happen. What should be asked is what the fuckey-doo is the deal with the prophet stretching himself out ON the boy three times? I gotta tell you...this sounds ALL WRONG, doesn't it?

8. I Kings 17:24

24 Then the woman said to Elijah, "Now I know that you are a man of God and that the word of the LORD from your mouth is the truth."

Questions
     1) Sooo...does this mean that this whole time the woman did NOT believe this prophet guy was a real prophet of the LORD?

9. I Kings 18:1

1 After many days the word of the LORD came to Elijah, in the third year, saying, “Go, show yourself to Ahab, and I will send rain upon the earth.”

Questions
     1) Does God/the LORD use drought and famine as a means of culling the people who worship Him?

10. I Kings 18:22-24

22 Then Elijah said to them, "I am the only prophet of the LORD who is left, but Baal has 450 prophets.

23 Now bring two bulls. The prophets of Baal may choose whichever one they wish and cut it into pieces and lay it on the wood of their altar, but without setting fire to it. I will prepare the other bull and lay it on the wood on the altar, but not set fire to it.

24 And you call upon the name of your god, and I will call upon the name of the LORD, and the God who answers by fire, he is God.” And all the people answered, “It is well spoken.”

Questions
     1) Sooo...is God/the LORD trying to make Himself look outnumbered in order to make His 'victory' over Baal look even more amazing and miraculous?

     2) Sooo...God's prophet and the prophets of Baal BOTH use altars, BOTH use animals in sacrifice, BOTH cut up the animals and put the pieces on the altar, and when following through with their worship ritual BOTH burn the animal carcass, correct?

     3) Sooo...the only true difference between the sacrifice rituals of Elijah and the sacrifice rituals of the prophets of Baal is the NAME of the pretend individual being sacrificed to?

11. I Kings 18:27-29

27 About noontime Elijah began mocking them. "You'll have to shout louder," he scoffed, "for surely he is a god! Perhaps he is daydreaming, or is relieving himself. Or maybe he is away on a trip, or is asleep and needs to be wakened!"

28 So they shouted louder, and following their normal custom, they cut themselves with knives and swords until the blood gushed out.

29 They raved all afternoon until the time of the evening sacrifice, but still there was no sound, no reply, no response.

Questions
     1) Well, what have we here but a FINE example of what many modern day believers claim they are subjected to: ridicule and mockery. Do you think Elijah would appreciate people mocking his God?

     2) What makes it okay for Elijah to mock people who worship a different God, but it is NOT okay for anyone to rail and mock Elijah's God?

     3) Want to try something interesting? Consider verse 27. Now, take this verse, the meaning and words of this verse, and then apply it to modern day troubles and terrible situations, okay? Think about 9/11, the Japan tsunami, the mega quake in Mexico in the mid eighties...yada-yada, plucka-plucka...and ask them where their God was when these terrible things happened. Was He in traffic? Was He too busy? Was He angry with man? Was He out doing laundry?

12. I Kings 18:36-37

36 At the usual time for offering the evening sacrifice, Elijah the prophet walked up to the altar and prayed, "O LORD, God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, prove today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant. Prove that I have done all this at your command.

37 Answer me, O LORD, answer me, that this people may know that you, O LORD, are God, and that you have turned their hearts back.”

Questions
     1) What the fuck is Elijah talking about turning the hearts of the people back to God? This is NOT what happens or will happen here, right? There is no deliberate effort to truly turn their hearts back to God, is there?

13. I Kings 18:38-40
38 Immediately the fire of the LORD flashed down from heaven and burned up the young bull, the wood, the stones, and the dust. It even licked up all the water in the trench!

39 And when all the people saw it, they fell on their faces and said, “The LORD, he is God; the LORD, he is God.”

40 Then Elijah commanded, "Seize all the prophets of Baal. Don't let a single one escape!" So the people seized them all, and Elijah took them down to the Kishon Valley and killed them there.

Questions
     1) Doesn't God know that frightening people into believing in Him does not qualify as the same people having turned their hearts back to Him?

     2) God is supposed to be Truth, correct? Would you agree that coercion is NOT akin to truth? 

     3) Here in this particular chapter in I Kings we very clearly see that FEAR is again utilized by God as a tool to encourage the people to change back to worshiping God alone, correct? Sooo...if God is the ultimate in truth, and if God decided that the best way to get His people back was to scare them to death, and if coercion is NOT akin to truth...doesn't that significantly alter the characteristics that define God/the LORD?

     4) If God/the LORD is using coercion to make people believe in Him, and if coercion is NOT truth doesn't that then mean that God/the LORD is a liar and most certainly NOT worthy or deserving of the attention or praise He receives?

14. I Kings 18:44-46
44 Finally the seventh time, his servant told him, "I saw a little cloud about the size of a man's hand rising from the sea." Then Elijah shouted, "Hurry to Ahab and tell him, 'Climb into your chariot and go back home. If you don't hurry, the rain will stop you!'"

45 And in a little while the heavens grew black with clouds and wind, and there was a great rain. And Ahab rode and went to Jezreel.

46 Then the LORD gave special strength to Elijah. He tucked his cloak into his belt and ran ahead of Ahab's chariot all the way to the entrance of Jezreel.

Questions
     1) How in the blazing blue did the servant happen to spot a little cloud the size of a man's hand rising from the damn sea, hummm?

     2) Sooo...Elijah was granted special powers by God to run super fast? Do you suppose the process to grant the prophet this power was like in that old television show starring Lee Majors, uhmmm...the Six Million Dollar Man? You know the one. I can see it now, right? God and His other two personalities getting ready for surgery on Elijah. God says to His other selves, "Gentlemen, We have the technology..."

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