I Samuel Part III: Just a Few Questions

Long Live the King

Sooo, why did the people of Israel request a king to lead them? I would like to answer that in the form of a question: Do you really think that the people of Israel would have asked God for a flesh and blood, human king if God and His judges were doing such a hot job with protecting the people and following through on promises made? Of course not.

While you are reviewing these questions I really want for you to think about what you would do, if, under a certain leader what you were promised was not actualizing, if you were being regularly abused by people that you had previously been promised to be protected from, if you were regularly deprived of basic needs in an effort to get you to conform your behavior, or any of the like, what would you do? Pray? Fast? Ask for a different leader?

Ask for a king?

1. I Samuel 8:1
1 When Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons as Israel's leaders.

Questions
     1) Was Samuel promoting his own sons something that the LORD told Samuel to do, or was this just a decision he made on his own? What made him make this decision? Were there no other candidates? Did his sons have special training?


2. I Samuel 8:3
3 Yet his sons did not walk in his ways but turned aside after gain. They took bribes and perverted justice.

Questions
     1) Hummm...it looks like special training might be out, right? Sooo...what is it with many of the good leaders of the people of Israel spawning children who apparently have no concept of following God in the proper ways? Didn't Aaron's sons have trouble similar to this...not worshiping correctly or bringing in the wrong fire before the LORD, or something like that?

     2) Are these divergent spawn of good leaders NOT instructed properly by their fathers?

     3)If these brats of the good leaders are not doing things properly why are they often allowed to stay in their positions until they fuck things up, or even well beyond the actual beginning of the fucking up? I mean, why does God allow these fuck-ups to remain in important positions where they inevitably end up fucking things up very badly for everyone, always resulting in a major FUBAR situation where God feels the need to cull the people with a plague or two?

     4) Does God allow this stuff to happen on purpose?

     5) WHY would God allow this stuff to happen on purpose?

     6) Is this another shining example of God's voon-der-bar planning?


3. I Samuel 8:5
5 and said to him, “Behold, you are old and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now appoint for us a king to judge us like all the nations.”

Questions
     1) Sooo...tell me why the hell the people waited so goddamn long to bring it to Samuel's attention that his sons were no good fellows?

     2) Now if God is doing such a great job leading His people and showing them love and following through on promises and being fair, WHY are the people requesting a different leader? Do people ask for replacements when there is nothing broken? If God was doing such a great job would the people want Him replaced?


4. I Samuel 8:6-9
6 But the thing displeased Samuel when they said, “Give us a king to judge us.” And Samuel prayed to the LORD.

7 And the LORD said to Samuel, “Obey the voice of the people in all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected me from being king over them.

8 According to all the deeds that they have done, from the day I brought them up out of Egypt even to this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are also doing to you.

9 Now then, obey their voice; only you shall solemnly warn them and show them the ways of the king who shall reign over them.”

Questions
     1) Why was Samuel displeased? Was it because he is a kiss-ass to God and will ALWAYS take God's side no matter what? Is that it?

     2) The people have rejected God? Really? Shouldn't God consider the promises He has made to the people and then take a step back and actually look at whether or not He has fulfilled/followed through with ANY of His promises? Do THAT and then reconsider who has rejected whom.

     3) Why does God keep going back to this claim about bringing the people of Israel up out of Egypt as if it were some great goddamn thing? God created the friggin' situation, didn't He? Or don't you remember God PURPOSELY hardening pharaoh's heart so that the Egyptians could experience the LORD's anger first hand? Even God Himself says He did it in order to show His great wonders, right? Self-serving of God to do so, wouldn't you say?

     4) Isn't the real problem here that God is serving Himself and NOT that the people are serving other gods?


5. I Samuel 8:10-18
10 So Samuel told all the words of the LORD to the people who were asking for a king from him.

11 He said, “These will be the ways of the king who will reign over you: he will take your sons and appoint them to his chariots and to be his horsemen and to run before his chariots.

12 And he will appoint for himself commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and some to plow his ground and to reap his harvest, and to make his implements of war and the equipment of his chariots.

13 He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers.

14 He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive orchards and give them to his servants.

15 He will take the tenth of your grain and of your vineyards and give it to his officers and to his servants.

16 He will take your male servants and female servants and the best of your young men and your donkeys, and put them to his work.

17 He will take the tenth of your flocks, and you shall be his slaves.

18 And in that day you will cry out because of your king, whom you have chosen for yourselves, but the LORD will not answer you in that day.”

Questions
     1) Is Samuel even paying attention to what he is saying here? There is not one thing here that is even close to being as bad as what happens when God runs the show, right?

     2) Samuel is telling the people they will be slaves to the king and that is supposed to worry them? What does he think the people of Israel have been to God this whole fucking time?! Do this, do that OR the LORD will do this or that, right?

     3) Can you name one thing in this set of verses that God HASN'T done to the people of Israel on a GRAND scale? God has taken the children away, hasn't He? He has told the people of death and familial loss if they do not listen to God, right? He will make their flocks die, right? He will let the daughters be captured and taken as wives, right? 

     4) Who gives a shit if the king takes a tenth of the harvest? With God you get nothing since He sees fit to let His anger rage and prevent the ground from producing food for the people every time they complain about the crazy shit God does, or every time they try to break away from the crazy mother, right? 

     5) Boy oh BOY, but isn't Samuel pitching hard for God in these verses?


6. I Samuel 8:21
21 And when Samuel had heard all the words of the people, he repeated them in the ears of the LORD.

Questions
     1) Here is another one of those questions that just drives me batty, right? IF God is everywhere, all of the time why in the fuckey-doo does Samuel repeat anything to the LORD? If the LORD is everywhere at all times He hears just fine now, doesn't He? And even if God did hear and simply forgot what was said (wouldn't that be impossible for a perfect God?) with His perfect memory He still wouldn't need Samuel's two cents, right?


7. I Samuel 9:8-9
8 The servant answered Saul again, “Here, I have with me a quarter of a shekel of silver, and I will give it to the man of God to tell us our way.”

9 (Formerly in Israel, when a man went to inquire of God, he said, “Come, let us go to the seer,” for today’s “prophet” was formerly called a seer.)

Questions
     1) Sooo...is God's way of getting around Deuteronomy 18:10 to allow Samuel to adopt a different name for what he does? Sooo...if Samuel is called a prophet the telling of the future and reading signs and interpreting omens is okay since he is no longer going by the title of seer? What kind of delusional bullshit is that?


8. I Samuel 9:15-16
15 Now the day before Saul came, the LORD had revealed to Samuel:

16 “Tomorrow about this time I will send to you a man from the land of Benjamin, and you shall anoint him to be prince over my people Israel. He shall save my people from the hand of the Philistines. For I have seen my people, because their cry has come to me.”

Questions
     1) God has seen His people and their cry has come to Him? In I Samuel 8:18 didn't the LORD say He would NOT listen to the people? Sooo...God is now listening  to the people? When did He change His mind?


9. I Samuel 9:19
19 Samuel answered Saul, “I am the seer. Go up before me to the high place, for today you shall eat with me, and in the morning I will let you go and will tell you all that is on your mind.

Questions
     1) Whoops...looks like Samuel just used the wrong job description, right? So considering the rules in Deuteronomy in regards to seers and such...well, shouldn't good old Sam be headed to the outskirts of town to be stoned?


10. I Samuel 10:10-11
10 When they came to Gibeah, behold, a group of prophets met him, and the Spirit of God rushed upon him, and he prophesied among them.

11 And when all who knew him previously saw how he prophesied with the prophets, the people said to one another, “What has come over the son of Kish? Is Saul also among the prophets?”

Questions
     1) What is this prophesying? Is it telling people what is happening at the moment? Telling people what has already happened? Telling people what is going to happen? Talking in tongues? Talking in different languages? Talking in riddles? What?


11. I Samuel 10:18
18 And he said to the people of Israel, “Thus says the LORD, the God of Israel, ‘I brought up Israel out of Egypt, and I delivered you from the hand of the Egyptians and from the hand of all the kingdoms that were oppressing you.’

Questions
     1) Is this line of the people of Israel being rescued from Egypt God's favorite fallback example to His greatness? Do you think God should put that perfect memory to use and recall WHO started all of that shit and WHO hardened pharaoh's heart so that terrible plagues could be cast upon the people?


12. I Samuel 10:22
22 So they inquired again of the LORD, “Is there a man still to come?” and the LORD said, “Behold, he has hidden himself among the baggage.”

Questions
     1) This is what this great new king that God has hand picked has done with his amazing promotion? Hides? Surely if Saul believed in the LORD then he knew that you cannot hide from God Who is everywhere, right? Why did Saul hide if he knew this? Wouldn't that show poor problem solving skills and even more deficient decision making on the part of Saul? And this guy has been picked to be king?


13. I Samuel 10:25
25 Then Samuel told the people the rights and duties of the kingship, and he wrote them in a book and laid it up before the LORD. Then Samuel sent all the people away, each one to his home.

Questions
     1) You mean the people are sitting here asking for a king without knowing everything that goes along with having a king?

     2) Okay, are you curious about why Samuel writes this stuff down? Were the people of Israel literate? I do not ask that to sound like a bitch, I just want to know who the literate folks were who were going to read this book on the rules of being a king, right? Because to my understanding of the available historical information the literacy rate was no higher than TEN PERCENT (some biblical scholars contest this) in Bible times whether that is the Old or New Testament, and actually the rate is likely lower in the Old than the New Testament times. So, again I ask you who was going to read what Samuel wrote?

     3) Why does Samuel lay this book up before the LORD? Does the LORD read? Would the LORD need to read? If the LORD knows everything there is to know EVER then He wouldn't need Samuel's book, would He? Why? Well, wouldn't He already know what is written in the book?

     4) Does Samuel know that the LORD/God knows everything there is to know EVER? If he does know this, WHY does he write the book and present it to the LORD? What is the LORD supposed to do with it? And with the amazingly low literacy rates what the frig purpose would the book serve the people of Israel?


14. I Samuel 10:26
26 Saul also went to his home at Gibeah, and with him went men of valor whose hearts God had touched.

Questions
     1) Men of valor whose hearts were touched by God? You mean in the way that God touched Pharaoh's heart to harden it thus removing Pharaoh's free will?


15. I Samuel 11:1-3
1 Then Nahash the Ammonite went up and besieged Jabesh-gilead, and all the men of Jabesh said to Nahash, “Make a treaty with us, and we will serve you.”

2 But Nahash the Ammonite said to them, “On this condition I will make a treaty with you, that I gouge out all your right eyes, and thus bring disgrace on all Israel.”

3 The elders of Jabesh said to him, “Give us seven days’ respite that we may send messengers through all the territory of Israel. Then, if there is no one to save us, we will give ourselves up to you.”

Questions
     1) What batch of meth was this idiot smoking when he suggested the terms of the surrender agreement? And aren't the elders of Jabesh completely unabashed in their expression of stupidity when responding with, "...give us seven days," as if something like that ought to be considered for even seven seconds?


16. I Samuel 11:6-8
6 And the Spirit of God rushed upon Saul when he heard these words, and his anger was greatly kindled.

7 He took a yoke of oxen and cut them in pieces and sent them throughout all the territory of Israel by the hand of messengers, saying, “Whoever does not come out after Saul and Samuel, so shall it be done to his oxen!” Then the dread of the LORD fell upon the people, and they came out as one man.

8 When he mustered them at Bezek, the people of Israel were three hundred thousand, and the men of Judah thirty thousand.

Questions
     1) Sooo...God's anger is catching, is it?


17. I Samuel 12:2
2 And now, behold, the king walks before you, and I am old and gray; and behold, my sons are with you. I have walked before you from my youth until this day.

Questions
     1) Why in the fuckey-doo is this fool saying that his sons are with the people when it was established fairly early on that his sons are no goddamn good?! Seriously?


18. I Samuel 12:6-8
6 And Samuel said to the people, “The LORD is witness, who appointed Moses and Aaron and brought your fathers up out of the land of Egypt.

7 Now therefore stand still that I may plead with you before the LORD concerning all the righteous deeds of the LORD that he performed for you and for your fathers.

8 When Jacob went into Egypt, and the Egyptians oppressed them, then your fathers cried out to the LORD and the LORD sent Moses and Aaron, who brought your fathers out of Egypt and made them dwell in this place.

Questions
     1) The LORD serving as a witness to legalize and validate something HE is doing and wants and stewing up and all that mumbo-jumbo is about as sensical as the bride and groom at a wedding serving as their own witnesses, right?


19. I Samuel 12:14
14 If you will fear the LORD and serve him and obey his voice and not rebel against the commandment of the LORD, and if both you and the king who reigns over you will follow the LORD your God, it will be well.

Questions
     1) See, why does God make rules like this? Doesn't it say in the Bible man fails time and again? How many times does God have to make it clear that His view of man is quite poor, that man is completely and totally fallen and will never do ANYTHING right, before the people of Israel finally get the damn clue a STOP making agreements with God?

     2) Of course everything will NOT be well because God knows...the bastard KNOWS the people will never meet His expectations and He WILL have the twisted pleasure of torturing them just a little more with His grab-bag of death and war and disease, right?


20. I Samuel 12:15-18
15 But if you will not obey the voice of the LORD, but rebel against the commandment of the LORD, then the hand of the LORD will be against you and your king.

16 Now therefore stand still and see this great thing that the LORD will do before your eyes.

17 Is it not wheat harvest today? I will call upon the LORD, that he may send thunder and rain. And you shall know and see that your wickedness is great, which you have done in the sight of the LORD, in asking for yourselves a king.”

18 So Samuel called upon the LORD, and the LORD sent thunder and rain that day, and all the people greatly feared the LORD and Samuel.

Questions
     1) And the LORD will always be against the people and their king, won't He? WON'T HE?! It is always the SAME, right? Follow My will and all will be good, right? But God always finds a way to find just one righteous person and fuck the rest of them and then ends up drowning everything or killing everything with war or plague (including children and animals), doesn't He?


21. I Samuel 13:8-14
8 He waited seven days, the time appointed by Samuel. But Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and the people were scattering from him.

9 So Saul said, “Bring the burnt offering here to me, and the peace offerings.” And he offered the burnt offering.

10 As soon as he had finished offering the burnt offering, behold, Samuel came. And Saul went out to meet him and greet him.

11 Samuel said, “What have you done?” And Saul said, “When I saw that the people were scattering from me, and that you did not come within the days appointed, and that the Philistines had mustered at Michmash,

12 I said, ‘Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the favor of the LORD.’ So I forced myself, and offered the burnt offering.”

13 And Samuel said to Saul, “You have done foolishly. You have not kept the command of the LORD your God, with which he commanded you. For then the LORD would have established your kingdom over Israel forever.

14 But now your kingdom shall not continue. The LORD has sought out a man after his own heart, and the LORD has commanded him to be prince over his people, because you have not kept what the LORD commanded you.”

Questions
     1) Oh, bullshit!! God and Samuel are the ones who do not come through and Saul gets the short end of the stick for that one? WTF? Saul DID wait for the appointed time and Samuel did NOT show up. Nothing was EVER said about what Saul was to do if Samuel did not show up, was it?

     2) Look at what the LORD does here, right? Why does He PURPOSELY have Samuel not show up as agreed? And yes it IS purposeful since NOTHING happens without God's say so, right? Look at how Samuel responds to Saul with the comment that the LORD would have established Saul's kingdom BUT NOW his kingdom will not continue. Isn't that nice? 

     3) Did God do this on purpose, rook Saul out of a good kingship? Consider that NOTHING happens without God's express, direct permission/allowance which would include full knowledge of ALL consequences. So, God KNEW that not allowing Samuel to show up as agreed would worry Saul and Saul would take action (which, actually isn't that supposed to be what a king does? God should be shaking Saul's hand), right? By Saul screwing up he lost out on a great kingship. So, again I ask you...DID GOD DO THIS ON PURPOSE?


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Exodus Part II: Just a Few Questions

Without Proof, Without Love, Without Remorse:

The All or Nothing Faith

Christianity is without proof not just for God, but for a good amount of the fiction that fills the Bible. Even more telling than this lack of proof are the verses jam-packed into the Bible that recount situation after situation where a supposed all-loving God persistently acts without love. Perhaps there are those who truly believe that to question the Bible or the God of the Bible is a bad thing, folly of the highest order. I am asking these questions anyway, and I ask them without remorse.

If you think you have an explanation or answer or whatever to ANY of these questions please note your answer in the comment link. These questions here are part of why I do not believe in God or in the truth/validity of the Bible.

Now all you need to do, if you are a believer, is to tell me WHY you DO believe. Do not give the cop-out answer of it simply being a matter of faith. Give me good reasons and good answers as to why you believe this stuff as literal truth.

1. Exodus 5:2-3

2 But Pharaoh said, “Who is the LORD, that I should obey his voice and let Israel go? I do not know the LORD, and moreover, I will not let Israel go.”

3 Then they said, “The God of the Hebrews has met with us. Please let us go a three days’ journey into the wilderness that we may sacrifice to the LORD our God, lest he fall upon us with pestilence or with the sword.”

Questions
     1) Do you think it would have helped the situation at all if the LORD had simply taken the time to introduce Himself to Pharaoh instead of hardening Pharaoh's heart in order to make a divine excuse to kick Egypt's ass?

     2) So, the God of the people of Israel has conferred with His constituency and issued an edict that He (the God of the people of Israel) must be worshiped ASAP and at a place that is three days' journey into the boondocks, but this God does not bother to reveal Himself to the Egyptians, or more specifically to Pharaoh, so that all the important people who need to know what is going on...know what is going on? What is wrong with this picture?

     3) Do you notice that in verse three the initial threat punishment of disease or violence is not threatened against Egypt or its people, but rather against the people of Israel? How must that have sounded to Pharaoh, hummm? Dear Pharaoh, please let me go and worship my God lest He kick my ass. 

     4) You don't really think that this pharaoh who supposedly was not too keen on the people of Israel to begin with is going to give a good goddamn as to whether or not the God of the people of Israel punishes His own people for not worshiping Him, do you?

     5) Do you think it would have behooved Moses and crew to immediately inform Pharaoh that the one to be punished would be Pharaoh and his people? Might this have changed Pharaoh's initial response of contempt toward Moses' if from the very beginning Pharaoh was informed that he either let the people of Israel go or suffer dire consequences?

     6) Do you think that the reason why God did not instruct the people of Israel to play it straight with the Egyptians was because ALL ALONG the God of the people of Israel WANTED an excuse, BURNED for a reason to annihilate the court of Pharaoh and the people of Egypt?

2. Exodus 5:22-23

22 Then Moses turned to the LORD and said, “O Lord, why have you done evil to this people? Why did you ever send me?

23 For since I came to Pharaoh to speak in your name, he has done evil to this people, and you have not delivered your people at all.”

Questions
     1) Questioning the God/LORD of the people of Israel is supposed to be a real big no-no, right? Does it not say in the Bible to NOT test the LORD your God? Well...big time kudos for Moses for having the balls to confront the LORD and the bullshit the LORD is doing. Sure, Moses intended his comment not to mean that God was treating the Egyptians so unfairly or horribly, but that the LORD was bringing trouble and tragedy and turmoil to the people of Israel, and considering their position of slavery weren't they dealing with enough on their proverbial plate without adding pissing the Pharaoh off?

     2) Look at verse twenty-three here. Does it appear to convey a little bit of screwy-ness to you? Here, the LORD sends Moses and Aaron to speak to Pharaoh, and what does Pharaoh do but continue to make things all the more difficult for the people of Israel. And why is Pharaoh being difficult? Is it because Pharaoh himself is choosing to be difficult? Nope. God chips in with that. 

3. Exodus 6:1

1 But the LORD said to Moses, “Now you shall see what I will do to Pharaoh; for with a strong hand he will send them out, and with a strong hand he will drive them out of his land.”

Questions
     1) What is it that the LORD is really saying here? Do you think it ever crossed Moses' mind that the LORD meant that He would fuck the Egyptians over so royally that Pharaoh would all but get on his hands and knees and beg the people of Israel to leave?

     2) Who is the one with the strong hands here? It can't be Pharaoh because he is being manipulated against his will and not in accordance with his own decisions and not his own use of FREE WILL. So what is the deal? Step back and really LOOK at this entire screwy situation and consider WHO is the one with the big hands and the big spoon stirring absolutely EVERYTHING in the pot with wanton abandon?

4. Exodus 6:2-3

2 God spoke to Moses and said to him, I am the LORD.

3 I appeared to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, as God Almighty, but by my name the LORD I did not make myself known to them.

Questions
     1) Sooo...the name of the LORD was NOT made known to Abraham, Isaac, or Jacob? Are you SURE about that? 
     Doesn't Genesis 13:4 say that Abram, "...called on the name of the LORD," at a place near Bethel? In Genesis 24:7 Abram refers to, "...the LORD, the God of heaven."
     Doesn't Genesis 26:25 say that at Beersheba, Isaac, "...built an altar and there called upon the name of the LORD?"
     Doesn't Genesis 28:13 say Jacob had a dream of a stairway reaching from earth to heaven where the LORD stood at the top of the stairs and said to Jacob, "I am the LORD?"

     2) You want to try this again, God? Only this time be sure to get your facts right, got it? Can you do all that WITHOUT warping or twisting some fact or tidbit of information into something unrecognizable from what it is supposed to be?

5. Exodus 6:5
5 Moreover, I have heard the groaning of the people of Israel whom the Egyptians hold as slaves, and I have remembered my covenant.

Questions
     1) Look very closely at this 'covenant' that God is supposedly remembering, right? Look at the wording of the covenants where God promises a land flowing with milk and honey and you will see something very interesting.
     Granted, there are differences in language and how one language is translated to another language, but notice that God says in the promises "and I will give you" or something very similar. He never says, "I give you." Nope. Saying "I give you" would put that shit in stone, wouldn't it? And what kind of havoc would God be able to do if He mired Himself in an undeniable promise? So, it is left at "...and I will give" which gives God a lot more room to work with. But, WHY would God do this?

6. Exodus 6:7-8

7  I will take you to be my people, and I will be your God, and you shall know that I am the LORD your God, who has brought you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians.

8 I will bring you into the land that I swore to give to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob. I will give it to you for a possession. I am the LORD.’”

Questions
     1) Have you read the words of God's supposed promise here? It is all future tense. I WILL take you, I WILL be, I WILL bring, I WILL give. Why does God speak in this manner? He always talks like this. Why not stop with the future promises and actually DO IT?!

     2) Did you notice in verse seven it says the people "...shall know that I am the LORD," and this IS supposed to be the same LORD going back to the beginning of it all, right? So, looking at the phrasing of this verse, if the LORD has been the LORD for so long, why does the LORD say the people SHALL know He is the LORD? Do they NOT already know?

7. Exodus 7:12-13

12 For each man cast down his staff, and they became serpents. But Aaron’s staff swallowed up their staffs.

13 Still Pharaoh’s heart was hardened, and he would not listen to them, as the LORD had said.

Questions
     1) Sooo...here we have Moses and his brother Aaron conversing with Pharaoh in an effort to let the people go...and as a convincing agent God gives them a freaking staff that they can turn into a snake? Are you fucking kidding me? Even if the LORD had NOT purposely hardened the Pharaoh's heart the king of Egypt might still have said 'no' after viewing the stupid trick with the staff and the snake. Seriously.

     2) It turns out that the court magicians can also turn their staffs into snakes, so apparently no big damn deal, right? But then the staff in the possession of Moses and Aaron swallows up the other staffs...er...snakes. Good trick, huh?

     3) See how verse thirteen sounds very intuitive? See? The LORD said Pharaoh would not listen and would not let the people go! The LORD was right! No, honey. The LORD set that shit up, remember? Didn't the LORD say He would harden the Pharaoh's heart? Yes, He did. So, do not be fooled. 

8. Exodus 7:19, 22

19 And the LORD said to Moses, “Say to Aaron, ‘Take your staff and stretch out your hand over the waters of Egypt, over their rivers, their canals, and their ponds, and all their pools of water, so that they may become blood, and there shall be blood throughout all the land of Egypt, even in vessels of wood and in vessels of stone.’”

22 But the magicians of Egypt did the same by their secret arts. So Pharaoh’s heart remained hardened, and he would not listen to them, as the LORD had said.

Questions
     1) Here is something that has always bugged me about this whole thing having to do with Christianity teaching about the evils of the occult and magic and all that hoo-hah, right? So, never mind that whole scene with the staffs turning into snakes and whatnot, but here Moses and Aaron do a little stretchy-stretchy with their wand of wonders and all the water of Egypt turns into blood. 
     River water, canal water, pond and pool water, even the water in wooden and stone vessels. Is the message there something along the lines of magic is bad unless God/the LORD tells you to do it? Or, is it something more along the lines of do as I say and not as I do?

     2) In verse twenty-two how did the Egyptian magicians do the same as Moses and Aaron did in verse nineteen and turn water into blood? Doesn't verse nineteen CLEARLY note all the water in Egypt yada-yada, plucka-plucka was turned to blood (presumably EXCEPT the water of the people of Israel)?

     3) Is it possible that when verse twenty-two says that the magicians of Egypt did the same by their secret arts that this means it was something they had done before and not necessarily that they tried it again right there?

     4) Shouldn't the tail end of verse twenty-two say, "So Pharaoh's heart remained hardened because the LORD decided it should remain hardened," instead of what is written which totally does a half-ass job of trying to make it out like any of it was up to the Pharaoh?

9. Exodus 7:24-25

24 And all the Egyptians dug along the Nile for water to drink, for they could not drink the water of the Nile.

25 Seven full days passed after the LORD had struck the Nile.

Questions
     1) Isn't it true that to begin with the Egyptians didn't literally drink out of the Nile (though people did bathe in it) itself but instead dug wells near the river, the purpose being that the water that seeped through the ground into the wells was in a way filtered (somewhat filtered) by the ground?

     2) What purpose is served by making it sound like since there was no drinking water directly from the river that out of sheer desperation the Egyptian people were resorting to digging near the river in hopes of finding clean water? This absurd desperation-for-water scenario is wholly untrue considering they were already in the habit of digging wells next to the river. Why the deception (and that IS exactly what it is)?

     3) In Exodus 7:19 it gives a list of the water stricken: rivers, canals, ponds and pools, even water in containers, right? Why does verse twenty-five say that seven days had passed after the LORD struck the NILE? Why does it only mention the Nile River when it was supposedly ALL of the water of the Egyptians that the LORD struck and turned to blood? Shouldn't the verse say seven days had passed since the LORD had stuck all the waters of Egypt?

     4) Wouldn't the LORD turning the water of the Egyptians into blood qualify as biological warfare?

     5) Sooo...the LORD allowed seven days, a full week to pass with the water of the Nile being blood? Does this mean that the LORD gave a good goddamn and a mother f**k about all of the Egyptian people (to include children and infants and pregnant women and the elderly) and whether or not they had the clean water necessary to their survival? How about the Egyptian flocks and herds?

     6) Do you really really think that with as much pride and love and respect the pharaohs and the Egyptian people had for their culture/heritage/way of life that the Pharaoh would make a series of decisions, to include refusing to let the people of Israel go, that would have increasingly devastating results on all the people of Egypt, possibly including future Egyptian generations?

     7) Considering the question directly preceding this one here, do you now understand the method behind the LORD's madness of forcing Pharaoh's heart to be hardened? Is it possible that the LORD (don't forget the LORD is supposed to be all-knowing) knew Pharaoh would never put all of Egypt in such great jeopardy for the freaking people of Israel?

     8) Is the main purpose for the LORD hardening Pharaoh's heart, the really really deep reason because God/the LORD needed to look as powerful and as much in control as possible? Didn't the LORD need this really great situation, this great struggle for the people of Israel to be as harrowing as possible so that when the LORD supposedly rescued them and 'brought them out of Egypt' that they would be SO grateful to God/the LORD for saving them they would agree to worship Him and do all of His bidding forever and ever?

10. Exodus 8:6-7

6 So Aaron stretched out his hand over the waters of Egypt, and the frogs came up and covered the land of Egypt.

7 But the magicians did the same by their secret arts and made frogs come up on the land of Egypt.

Questions
     1) You know what, if God/the LORD freaking knew that the Egyptian magicians were just as good with many of their spells and abilities of manipulating objects or environments and the like...WHY didn't the LORD give Moses and Aaron a better bag of tricks? Why pick things the Egyptian magicians could also do?

     2) Was the point of picking stupid tricks in the beginning to give the Egyptians a false sense of security, to make them think, "Ah, these schlubs aren't doing anything we can't do," or something of the like?

     3) Okay, if the frogs that responded to Aaron's outstretched hand covered the land of Egypt how was it that the magicians showed they could do the same? I mean, verse seven really makes it sound like the magicians did their thing right there in front of Aaron and Moses...
     ...BUT...if the frogs brought up by Aaron COVERED THE LAND OF EGYPT, how in the hell could anyone tell which frogs were the ones brought up by Aaron and which frogs were brought up by the magicians? Seriously, how was this done?

11. Exodus 8:12-15

12 So Moses and Aaron went out from Pharaoh, and Moses cried to the LORD about the frogs, as he had agreed with Pharaoh.

13 And the LORD did according to the word of Moses. The frogs died out in the houses, the courtyards, and the fields.

14 And they gathered them together in heaps, and the land stank.

15 But when Pharaoh saw that there was a respite, he hardened his heart and would not listen to them, as the LORD had said.

Questions
     1) Doesn't it bother you that as the story progresses and as the plagues get worse that everything is consistently put on Pharaoh's shoulders? Don't you find the wording screwy, like purposely making it sound like every time the LORD pulls back or stops the plague that, hey, it could end there but Pharaoh just won't let things be?

     2) Can you think of other stories in the Bible where, like this story here of the people of Israel being led out of Egypt, the supposed mighty gift of FREE WILL that God gave man is INTERFERED with on purpose?

     3) What are the justifications for God screwing around with Pharaoh's free will? I mean, we already discussed that God needed to look like the hero, like the avenging righteous God so that the people of Israel would pick Him over the other gods. Is that justification enough? Or, does it simply boil down to one of those things where God/the LORD made the rules so He can most certainly break them and not owe anyone any explanation?

12. Exodus 8:17-18

17 And they did so. Aaron stretched out his hand with his staff and struck the dust of the earth, and there were gnats on man and beast. All the dust of the earth became gnats in all the land of Egypt.

18 The magicians tried by their secret arts to produce gnats, but they could not. So there were gnats on man and beast.

Questions
     1) So, if all of the dust of the earth became gnats when Aaron stretched out his hand how in the world would anyone even know for sure whether or not the magicians could do the same? You know how small a damn gnat is? Were they a special color so that people would be able to tell which were gnats belonging to Aaron's deed? Was it something like, "Ah, yes. We see these are polka-dotted gnats so we know they are all from Aaron," or maybe did the little gnats maybe even just come right out and tell people from whence they came?

     2) If the verse says that the dust of the land, ALL the dust of the land, turned into gnats wouldn't this actually explain why the magicians could not do the same? I mean, if in order to make the gnats appear you need dust, and if all of the dust has already been turned into gnats THEN WHERE are the magicians going to get some damned dust to prove they can make gnats?

13. Exodus 8:19

19 Then the magicians said to Pharaoh, “This is the finger of God.” But Pharaoh’s heart was hardened, and he would not listen to them, as the LORD had said.

Questions
     1) Shouldn't this verse read, "Then the magicians said to Pharaoh, This is the finger of God. But try as he may and even though he desperately wanted to boot the people of Israel out from Egypt so that his people could be saved, Pharaoh found he could not control his own will and could not make his own choice for his people. And Pharaoh wept, for the will and the power and the strength of the protector of Egypt had been usurped," instead of the horseshit that is written?

14. Exodus 9:2, 6

2 For if you refuse to let them go and still hold them,

6 And the next day the LORD did this thing. All the livestock of the Egyptians died, but not one of the livestock of the people of Israel died.

Questions
     1) If you refuse to let them go? Bitch, he WANTS to throw your asses out but he can't. Why is that?

     2) So is the LORD's plan to look as mighty and powerful as possible something along the lines of harass and molest your opponent in increasing waves of terror in order to strip them completely of everything even remotely valuable to them, crushing and breaking and annihilating them?

15. Exodus 9:12

12 But the LORD hardened the heart of Pharaoh, and he did not listen to them, as the LORD had spoken to Moses.

Questions
     1) Is this supposed to be proof of God's greatness, showing how He can manipulate people without them even knowing what is going on?

16. Exodus 9:19, 25

19 Now therefore send, get your livestock and all that you have in the field into safe shelter, for every man and beast that is in the field and is not brought home will die when the hail falls on them.”’”

25 The hail struck down everything that was in the field in all the land of Egypt, both man and beast. And the hail struck down every plant of the field and broke every tree of the field.

Questions
     1) Doesn't Exodus 9:6 say that all of the livestock of the Egyptians died in the plague pertaining to that verse? 

     2) If that is the case, where in the fuckey-DOO did the Egyptian livestock in THIS particular plague come from? All of the Egyptian's livestock/beasts are already fucking DEAD! What the hell is going on here?

17. Exodus 9:26

26 Only in the land of Goshen, where the people of Israel were, was there no hail.

Questions
     1) Is the underlying meaning of this verse so long as you do as the LORD says, when the LORD says it, for whatever the reason the LORD decides you will be good to go, and those against you will be the ones to suffer greatly?

18. Exodus 9:34-35

34 But when Pharaoh saw that the rain and the hail and the thunder had ceased, he sinned yet again and hardened his heart, he and his servants.

35 So the heart of Pharaoh was hardened, and he did not let the people of Israel go, just as the LORD had spoken through Moses.

Questions
     1) Isn't this getting to be a bit old?

     2) Is the lesson here that God can be quite persistent in breaking His own rules inasmuch as the free will of man is concerned, provided that God wants something really really bad?

19. Exodus 10:1-2

1 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Go in to Pharaoh, for I have hardened his heart and the heart of his servants, that I may show these signs of mine among them,

2 and that you may tell in the hearing of your son and of your grandson how I have dealt harshly with the Egyptians and what signs I have done among them, that you may know that I am the LORD.

Questions
     1) Soooo...is the reason why God so readily admits His crime of interfering with Pharaoh's free will because He thinks people will be too afraid of Him to call Him on it? 

20. Exodus 10:19-20

19 And the LORD turned the wind into a very strong west wind, which lifted the locusts and drove them into the Red Sea. Not a single locust was left in all the country of Egypt.

20 But the LORD hardened Pharaoh’s heart, and he did not let the people of Israel go.

Questions
     1) Say, is what have we here a case of same interference with free will, different plague?

21. Exodus 11:4-6

4 So Moses said, “Thus says the LORD: About midnight I will go out in the midst of Egypt,

5 and every firstborn in the land of Egypt shall die, from the firstborn of Pharaoh who sits on his throne, even to the firstborn of the slave girl who is behind the hand mill, and all the firstborn of the cattle.

6 There shall be a great cry throughout all the land of Egypt, such as there has never been, nor ever will be again.

Questions
     1) So this great and amazing God of love Who wants everyone to love Him and trust Him decides to use His powers of death to kill in order to get His way when the truth of the matter is that from the very beginning of this story it did not have to happen this way?



22. Exodus 11:8
8 And all these your servants shall come down to me and bow down to me, saying, ‘Get out, you and all the people who follow you.’ And after that I will go out.” And he went out from Pharaoh in hot anger.

Questions
     1) Do you really think that Moses or Aaron have any right whatsoever to be angry with Pharaoh when it is not Pharaoh being difficult but God/the LORD?


23. Exodus 11:10
10 Moses and Aaron did all these wonders before Pharaoh, and the LORD hardened Pharaoh’s heart, and he did not let the people of Israel go out of his land.

Questions
     1) How is it that some people just do not seem to understand that it most certainly was NOT Pharaoh who was keeping the people of Israel in Egypt, but it was God/the LORD?


24. Exodus 12:12-13
12 For I will pass through the land of Egypt that night, and I will strike all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and on all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgments: I am the LORD.

13 The blood shall be a sign for you, on the houses where you are. And when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and no plague will befall you to destroy you, when I strike the land of Egypt.

Questions
     1) Why is there yet another plague that is said to include the killing of beasts? Aren't all of the Egyptian beasts already DEAD? Is someone NOT keeping up with what He commanded on previous plagues?

     2) So in order for death to pass by a home instead of entering it to kill there must be blood on the door frame of the houses? Isn't this just a less terrible sounding way to say that so long as you can show something was killed (something innocent) you will not be subject to judgment?


25. Exodus 12:36
36 And the LORD had given the people favor in the sight of the Egyptians, so that they let them have what they asked. Thus they plundered the Egyptians.

Questions
     1) The people of Israel found FAVOR in the eyes of the Egyptians? FAVOR? Is that the name fear went by back then?



26. Exodus 12:37
37 And the people of Israel journeyed from Rameses to Succoth, about six hundred thousand men on foot, besides women and children.

Questions
     1) Aren't the numbers mentioned here astronomically absurd when you consider that six hundred thousand does NOT include the women and the children? Some scholars even put the TOTAL number (including women, children, non-Israelites with the group) at about 2 million people, slightly more than half of the population of present day County of San Diego, California, which is about 3,180,000 people. And people believe this story WHY? 

     2) So, all of these people who are also dragging their belongings with them, to include herds and flocks, are all walking out of Egypt and into the desert to wander in circles happily ever after for forty years?


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