I Samuel Part VI: Just a Few Questions

The Original Soap Opera

The plight of the people of Israel can be summed up in two words: sopa opera. Everything that happens to the people of Israel as well as to their enemies is truly captivating in many respects, totally 'shrimping' anything that has ever happened to Victor Newman, Nikki Newman, Victoria, Jack, Mrs. Chandler, Nick, or anyone else on my favorite daytime soap. Actually, take ALL of the television soaps and put them together and you still have nothing close to the drama of the people of Israel in the Old Testament.

However, do not be so ignorant as to accept these captivating stories of the Old Testament as truth simply because they are captivating, right? I mean, sure, the daytime soaps are interesting but how many times can people return from the dead, get amnesia, marry each other, and all of that happy horseshit? You don't really believe it because you know it is a STORY, not true, only meant for entertainment purposes, right? The same can be said of the Old Testament and the lamentable people of Israel. They just seem to have some of the worst luck ever, don't they? Then they have the tantrums that their savant deity seems absurdly prone to. Lovely.

In reading through the Old Testament books I found that there was question after question after question that popped out as I continued to read such a captivating soap opera. While it was immensely interesting on many levels I had to wonder why people actually thought this stuff was true. Sooo...here are more of my questions as we continue going through the book of I Samuel. If you feel you have an answer to any of these questions please be so kind as to post your response at the end of the particular post. If you are utilizing a Bible verse as a reference please be sure to note the passage location so that I may look it up.

And now...let us continue with Part VI for the book of I Samuel.

1. I Samuel 17:47

47 And everyone assembled here will know that the LORD rescues his people, but not with sword and spear. This is the LORD's battle, and he will give you to us!"

Questions

     1) The LORD's battle? Do you mean the LORD's battle in the sense that the LORD is usually the one Who starts all of this shit to begin with?

     2) The LORD will give you to us? How does this work out considering that the LORD NEVER gives without taking something greater?

2. I Samuel 17:49

49 And David put his hand in his bag and took out a stone and slung it and struck the Philistine on his forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell on his face to the ground.

Questions

     1) Uhmmm...so the stone that David slung sank into Goliath's forehead? How did this happen when I Samuel 17:5 clearly notes that Goliath had a helmet of bronze?

     2) Did Goliath's helmet NOT cover his forehead?

     3) Did Goliath NOT wear his helmet upon going out to meet David?

     4) The Bible notes that Goliath was a man of war from the time of his youth, so WHY would a man of war go out to battle without his helmet unless he was a total moron?

3. I Samuel 17:50

50 So David prevailed over the Philistine with a sling and with a stone, and struck the Philistine and killed him. There was no sword in the hand of David.

Questions

     1) Why does the Bible have so many stories where either God or the people who were adopted by God (the Israelites) win in lopsided victories?

     2) Are the lopsided victories supposed to convince people of the truth of the Bible and the supposed mighty strength of God?

4. I Samuel 17:51

51 Then David ran and stood over the Philistine and took his sword and drew it out of its sheath and killed him and cut off his head with it. When the Philistines saw that their champion was dead, they fled.

Questions

     1) Okay, sooo...do you remember that I Samuel 17:7 notes that Goliath's spearhead weighed six hundred shekles, which is fifteen pounds? If Goliath's spearhead weighed this much, how much do you think his sword weighed?

     2) Do you remember in I Samuel 17:39 Saul gave his armor to David and David couldn't use it because he was not used to the weight of it, couldn't fight in it? If David could not use the armor and sword of Saul...how in the fuckey-doo was David able to lift the sword of Goliath (who shrimped Saul) and cut off Goliath's head?

5. I Samuel 17:53

53 And the people of Israel came back from chasing the Philistines, and they plundered their camp.

Questions

     1) Ahhh, so when the people of Israel came back and plundered the camps of the Philistines can't such be considered thievery? Is it legalized thievery since they were fighting for God and the Philistines were the enemy?

     2) Sooo, if God says that something that is normally wrong ISN'T wrong then it is okay to do it and not suffer consequences? Hummm...sounds suspiciously like something Richard Nixon would claim, doesn't it?


6. I Samuel 17:54
54 And David took the head of the Philistine and brought it to Jerusalem, but he put his armor in his tent.

Questions
     1) You know, I hear so many of the end timers really focusing on stories where the Christians are supposed to be beheaded for their beliefs, seemingly dipping these fantastical stories into the totally false idea that believers in the supposed mega mighty God of the Bible would NEVER do such a thing to people. REALLY?

     2) Considering the weight of Goliath's spearhead alone, how long do you think it took for the youthful David to drag Goliath's armor back to his own tent? And, where did David's tent come from? Nothing is ever said about David going there to set his own tent. Didn't he go there to where the army was to take his brothers some bread and cheese and to get word from them that he could take back to his father? What is this 'David's tent' bull?


7. I Samuel 18:10-12
10 The very next day a tormenting spirit from God overwhelmed Saul, and he began to rave in his house like a madman. David was playing the harp, as he did each day. But Saul had a spear in his hand,

11 and he suddenly hurled it at David, intending to pin him to the wall. But David escaped him twice.

12 Saul was then afraid of David, for the LORD was with David and had turned away from Saul.

Questions
     1) Houston, WE have a serious problem here, don't we? Read I Samuel 16:14-23, and then read the above verses again. Do you see the problem? In this story David is already with Saul by the time the evil spirit comes to torment Saul. BUT in chapter 16 the spirit torments Saul and then in the process of trying to relieve Saul of his psychological issues David was sent for so that he would play his harp for the king, right?

     2) Why does it say in the verses above that Saul, while raving with his torment, threw a spear at David intending to pin David to the wall...TWICE? The chapter 16 story in verse 23 says that whenever the tormenting spirit from God came to Saul, David would play his instrument and then relief would come to Saul, the evil spirit finally leaving him alone, right? What the hell is going on? Is whoever is writing this NOT paying attention to what he has already written, or what?


8. I Samuel 18:25, 27
25 Then Saul said, “Thus shall you say to David, ‘The king desires no bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king’s enemies.’” Now Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines.

27 David and his men went out and killed 200 Philistines. He brought their foreskins and presented them as full payment to the king to become his son-in-law. Then Saul gave his daughter Michal to David as his wife.

Questions
     1) This is just all fucked up in so many ways, right? Never mind that the king said the bride price would be 100 foreskins of the Philistines, but David goes and butchers the penises of twice the necessary number?


9. I Samuel 19:9-10
9 Then a harmful spirit from the LORD came upon Saul, as he sat in his house with his spear in his hand. And David was playing the lyre.

10 And Saul sought to pin David to the wall with the spear, but he eluded Saul, so that he struck the spear into the wall. And David fled and escaped that night.

Questions
     1) Houston, we have ANOTHER problem. But what else is new? Why are we seeing this freaking tormenting spirit/Saul throws a spear story AGAIN?


10. I Samuel 19:11-12
11 Then Saul sent troops to watch David's house. They were told to kill David when he came out the next morning. But Michal, David's wife, warned him, "If you don't escape tonight, you will be dead by morning."

12 So Michal let David down through the window, and he fled away and escaped.

Questions
     1) Sooo...the crack troops belonging to the king watch everything BUT the windows?


11. I Samuel 25:18
18 Abigail wasted no time. She quickly gathered 200 loaves of bread, two wineskins full of wine, five sheep that had been slaughtered, nearly a bushel of roasted grain, 100 clusters of raisins, and 200 fig cakes. She packed them on donkeys

Questions
     1) I want to know HOW this woman Abigail quickly gathered all of the stuff mentioned in this verse, right? Did she do all of this stuff by herself?

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I Samuel Part V: Just a Few Questions

Continuing with I Samuel

Here we are continuing with the questions for the book of I Samuel in the Holy Bible Old Testament. If you feel you have an answer to any of these questions simply click on the comment link at the end of each post and write in your answer. If using a Bible verse as reference, be sure to include the passage location.

1. I Samuel 16:1

1 Now the LORD said to Samuel, "You have mourned long enough for Saul. I have rejected him as king of Israel, so fill your flask with olive oil and go to Bethlehem. Find a man named Jesse who lives there, for I have selected one of his sons to be my king."

Questions

     1) Is Samuel's mourning for Saul simply custom or does he really feel bad about it? I mean, if it was simply customary it would be equivalent to dressing and black and attending a funeral  when in reality you give two shits and a horse's ass who is being planted, right?

     2) Why does God continue to pick people when it is clear that God makes very poor choices? Doesn't something usually go wrong where the person picked by God either pisses off the people he is supposed to govern or lead, or the person does something that labels them as a disappointment in the eyes of God?

2. I Samuel 16:2

2 And Samuel said, “How can I go? If Saul hears it, he will kill me.” And the LORD said, “Take a heifer with you and say, ‘I have come to sacrifice to the LORD.’

3 And invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what you shall do. And you shall anoint for me him whom I declare to you.”

Questions

     1) Isn't God supposed to be the ultimate power? Why does Samuel say he is afraid when he is supposed to be a prophet/judge/representative of the Most High God?

     2) Well...what have we here but God Himself lying and instructing to lie? Sooo...how can it be anything other than a lie when Samuel's true purpose is to anoint another king? It does not matter whether or not Samuel tells Saul that he is only there to sacrifice to the LORD and then goes and actually sacrifices, because the TRUTH is not that Samuel is there to sacrifice but to anoint, right?

     3) Is there any possible way for the LORD to come out of these particular verses with a label other than LIAR?

     4) How can a perfect God lie? If a perfect God lies is the lie then considered a perfect lie?

3. I Samuel 16:7

7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”

Questions

     1) Sure, the LORD looks at the heart, but what He doesn't say is what He is looking for, right? And what would the LORD be looking for but a little black heart that will bend and meld to His every whim, a heart that can be controlled by the fears of the person that heart rests within?

4. I Samuel 16:13

13 Then Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers. And the Spirit of the LORD rushed upon David from that day forward. And Samuel rose up and went to Ramah.

Questions

     1) Sooo...if the spirit of the LORD rushed upon David from that day forward are we correct in thinking that that meant for the rest of David's life? Because if that is the case where in the hell was this spirit of the LORD within David when he set up Uriah to be murdered AND took Uriah's wife?


5. I Samuel 16:14
14 Now the Spirit of the LORD had left Saul, and the LORD sent a tormenting spirit that filled him with depression and fear.

Questions
     1) Do you know what depression is? Do you know what fear is? Do you know what happens when you put the two of those things together within the mind of a person? Do you have any idea how thoroughly horrible depression can make a person feel? Do you know how ravenous the appetite of fear can be?

     2) This is what the LORD did to Saul? Sooo...it was not enough that the Spirit of the LORD left Saul, but the LORD just HAD to throw in depression and fear as parting gifts?

     3) Wow. Seriously, wow. The great and mighty God of Love sends a tormenting spirit? Would you be so kind as to explain to me exactly how this works?


6. I Samuel 16:15
15 Saul's servants then said to him, "Behold now, an evil spirit from God is terrorizing you.

Questions
     1) Sooo...the depression and the fear Saul is experiencing is STILL not enough for God, and in order to balance things out and make God's Circle of the Stupidity of Anger complete He makes sure that even the servants know what is happening? Why would God do this? Would it be in an extra special effort to add embarrassment as the pretty little cherry on top?


7. I Samuel 16:21
21 And David came to Saul and entered his service. And Saul loved him greatly, and he became his armor-bearer.

Questions
     1) This needs to be clarified, right? Was the love as from a father to a son, as a brother to a brother, as a friend to a friend, as an intimate partner to an intimate partner...what?


8. I Samuel 17:16
16 For forty days the Philistine came forward and took his stand, morning and evening.

Questions
     1) The rains leading to the great flood fell for forty days and nights, Israel meandered in the desert about forty years, Jesus was tempted in the desert by Satan for forty days and nights, in Acts Jesus appears here and there over a period of forty days, Isaac was forty when he hooked up with Rebeka, Esau was forty when he hooked up with Judith, Moses was on the mountain for forty days and nights...the list goes on and on, and now we add this situation? What is it with the number forty in the Bible?


9. I Samuel 17:26
26 And David said to the men who stood by him, “What shall be done for the man who kills this Philistine and takes away the reproach from Israel? For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?”

Questions
     1) The armies of the living God, huh? Is that why the men were so afraid and fled as so noted in the twenty-fourth verse in this same chapter?


10. I Samuel 17:46
46 Today the LORD will conquer you, and I will kill you and cut off your head. And then I will give the dead bodies of your men to the birds and wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel!

Questions
     1) Kill you and cut off your head? Give the dead bodies of your men to the birds and wild animals? Is this the normal manner in which the followers of the most powerful, love-filled God speak?

     2) Do you notice that though this great God is supposed to be filled with so much love that a majority of the time the freaking people are fighting like cats and dogs, more often than not encouraged by God to do so? Why doesn't God conquer with His great love instead of His great hate?


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I Samuel Part IV: Just a Few Questions

King Me!

Here we will continue to question the plays in the divine gag reel of what happened to God's people when they asked for a king to rule them. I hope you are enjoying your foray into the many questions birthed by the books of the Holy Bible. On its face some of this stuff is dreadfully boring, and I do mean boring. I mean, seriously, who wants to read a bunch of so-and-so begat such-and-such begat who-and-who, right? But if you can manage to wade through the Bible's Bog of the Uninteresting you just may find that there is some pretty interesting stuff to consider. I hope you really do consider, deeply ponder at least the more substantive questions. Try really hard to think through this supposedly spiritual, even MORE supposedly truth-filled behemoth so many choose to label as faith.

Your belief and your decisions of what you choose to spend that most valuable belief of yours on will always have consequences...even if you are convinced to the fullest that what you are believing in really IS good for you. Your Rock of Gibraltar blind trust in God and the Bible do absolutely nothing to curb, delay, interfere with, diminish, degrade, decay, distort, disavow, deconstruct, or deflate what truth is on ANY level. 

Here in Part IV we will be discussing continuing questions from I Samuel in the Bible. Now, if you would take a gander at the posts for this particular blog you will notice I have a good amount of questions already posted. You will also notice that with the exception of one comment ALL comments have been submitted by...MYSELF. Not one person who is a believer has said jack shit about any one question, let alone many. That is unfortunate and disgraceful.

Good gracious, people...where the hell are you if you believe in God and the truth of the Bible? Don't worry about what my answers might be. I was raised in quite the religious family and now I am a recovering Christian. I am very familiar with the answers believers usually give for many of these questions I have. 

What I want to know is why, WHY do you believe these answers that you have been taught/given. Help me to understand WHY you believe. What is it exactly, PRECISELY, that I missed entirely or just misinterpreted? Why does so very much in the Bible stand witness as to what can only be described as the fairy tale, completely unbelievable, pathologically maniacal, often times immoral and undeniably cruel behavior of a supposedly great and eternally loving God?

Many of my questions carry real, true merit. Reciprocate with answers that contain real, true merit. Don't give me the stupid excuse of, "Well, she doesn't believe anyways so what is the point of answering? I am wasting my time; I will simply pray for her and maybe God will have mercy enough to slow the elevator that He put her in as He sends her straight to hell." 

If that really is what you believe then type that in on the comment link, but keep in mind that type of response is the epitome of Christian laziness (spiritually and mentally), the common trademark of those who love telling others how to live and love and worship, but at the same time detest their own beliefs being challenged. Defend what you believe and make sense doing it. Leave an answer to as many questions as possible. 

If I can articulate why I no longer believe in God or the Bible surely there are Christians who can do the same on the opposite end of the table as they explain why they believe God created everything, why they believe that from two people more than the present-day 5.5 BILLION population of man on this planet , plus all of the people who EVER lived, came to be, why they believe in a mega flood that covered the highest mountain peak (that would be Mount Everest at about 29,000 feet), why they believe a donkey actually talked, why they believe a snake spoke to Eve, why they believe a prophet never died but rather was taken up into heaven in a chariot of fire, and a whole bunch of other whys.

I am a true atheist. How do you know this? I am asking questions even though the questions are many times considered threatening, are not what many people want to hear, much less discuss/provide answers to. A true Christian would answer the questions. A true Christian would NEVER view providing answers as a waste of time and would never worry about being scoffed at or made fun of. You don't really think Christians are the only ones scoffed, do you? I have heard plenty in regards to my atheism. So, suck it up and leave some answers. Remember, I am not here to get you to renounce your faith. I am here to tell you the questions I have in regards to why I do not believe. You tell me why you DO believe.

1. I Samuel 13:19-22
19 Now there was no blacksmith to be found throughout all the land of Israel, for the Philistines said, “Lest the Hebrews make themselves swords or spears.”

20 But every one of the Israelites went down to the Philistines to sharpen his plowshare, his mattock, his axe, or his sickle,

21 and the charge was two-thirds of a shekel for the plowshares and for the mattocks, and a third of a shekel for sharpening the axes and for setting the goads.

22 So on the day of the battle there was neither sword nor spear found in the hand of any of the people with Saul and Jonathan, but Saul and Jonathan his son had them.

Questions
     1) Okay...uhmmm...are these verses saying that the Israelite army went to war WITHOUT weapons such as swords and spears? Was this for the entire four decade-plus reign of Saul?

     2) I am curious about something here. It says in verse nineteen that no blacksmith could be found throughout the land of Israel, but when did this first happen? Does this mean that throughout the ENTIRE body of Israel...all twelve tribes...there was NOT to be found a single blacksmith?

     3) How in the world have the people of Israel been fighting battles here and there without swords and spears? Oh, wait...there are loads of verses that quite literally speak of the Israelite soldiers using swords. Sooo...what's the rub, Bub?

     4) Are you telling me that a fighting force assembles, numbering at least a couple thou, and only the king and his son have weapons? Do you have any idea how utterly retarded that sounds?

     5) Sooo...the people of Israel, no matter where they were within all of Israel, traveled all the way to the Philistines to sharpen their plows and harvesting materials and tools?

     6) How can anyone read this and not get pissed off with God/the LORD? This asshole deity goes out of His way to create as much trouble as possible for His supposed chosen people...but all the while claims to love them and bless them and stick up for them? The freaking soldiers are assembling for war without fucking weapons! Come on, man! Is this God's seriously screwy idea of testing trust and faith in God? If that is the case you have to admit that when God tests the faith of the chosen people He ALWAYS does something terrible to them or tells them to do something terrible, doesn't He?

     7) Is this part of God's plan to dazzle man with His mighty power? Send man into war without shit, then pull off some screwy feat of victory so God can claim He saved everyone and so they should all worship Him?


2. I Samuel 14:8-10
8 Then Jonathan said, “Behold, we will cross over to the men, and we will show ourselves to them.

9 If they say to us, ‘Wait until we come to you,’ then we will stand still in our place, and we will not go up to them.

10 But if they say, ‘Come up to us,’ then we will go up, for the LORD has given them into our hand. And this shall be the sign to us.”

Questions
     1) Why didn't these bozos simply ask the LORD a 'yes' or 'no' question as to what they should do?


3. I Samuel 14:13-14
13 Then Jonathan climbed up on his hands and feet, and his armor-bearer after him. And they fell before Jonathan, and his armor-bearer killed them after him.

14 And that first strike, which Jonathan and his armor-bearer made, killed about twenty men within as it were half a furrow’s length in an acre of land.

Questions
     1) Sooo...when the verse says that the men fell before Jonathan and then the armor-bearer killed them, does this mean Jonathan was wounding them to where they could not stand, and then the armor-bearer would finish them off? Who was using the sword and who was using the spear, because between the two of them there was precisely only two weapons, right? Was the armor-bearer using the shield as a weapon?

     2) Sooo...is part of the point of this ridiculously absurd story to impress people into believing in God since, with the Israeli army possessing zero weapons, just look at how the Philistines were dropping like flies, and but MY isn't that LORD God of Israel just the nicest fellow for rescuing His people from danger? Oh, and when you think about the answer to that pay no mind to the fact that God staged the entire fiasco in order to make Himself look stronger and better than all other gods?


4. I Samuel 14:15
15 And there was a panic in the camp, in the field, and among all the people. The garrison and even the raiders trembled, the earth quaked, and it became a very great panic.

Questions
     1) Panic in the camp? Panic in the field? Panic among the people? A big quake followed by even greater panic? No worries, right? I mean, this shouldn't surprise anyone is nothing new when it comes to God's consistent modus operandi Never mind looking up into the sky for a bird or plane or Superman to rescue the people. 


5. I Samuel 14:20-23
20 Then Saul and all his men assembled and went to the battle. They found the Philistines in total confusion, striking each other with their swords.

21 Now the Hebrews who had been with the Philistines before that time and who had gone up with them into the camp, even they also turned to be with the Israelites who were with Saul and Jonathan.

22 Likewise, when all the men of Israel who had hidden themselves in the hill country of Ephraim heard that the Philistines were fleeing, they too followed hard after them in the battle.

23 So the LORD saved Israel that day. And the battle passed beyond Beth-aven.

Questions
     1) Where in the hell did all of the weapons come from? Not a handful of verses back it was noted that they possessed no weapons, so what is this horseshit?


6. I Samuel 14:24-26
24 And the men of Israel had been hard pressed that day, so Saul had laid an oath on the people, saying, “Cursed be the man who eats food until it is evening and I am avenged on my enemies.” So none of the people had tasted food.

25 Now when all the people came to the forest, behold, there was honey on the ground.

26 And when the people entered the forest, behold, the honey was dropping, but no one put his hand to his mouth, for the people feared the oath.

Questions
     1) Sooo...never mind that the soldiers have no weapons because they don't have food either? Is that the power and will of God fighting for His people?

     2) Why is there honey on the ground? Wasps and bumble bees DO build nests in the ground sometimes, but not honey bees. Sooo...is the honey on the ground because it fell out of a tree?


7. I Samuel 14:29-30
29 Then Jonathan said, “My father has troubled the land. See how my eyes have become bright because I tasted a little of this honey.

30 How much better if the people had eaten freely today of the spoil of their enemies that they found. For now the defeat among the Philistines has not been great.”

Questions
     1) Do you think that some people become so disillusioned by their faith in God that they are willing and often follow through with practices and habits that are not good for their bodies? Is this what God encourages? Starve your body?


8. I Samuel 14:31-34
31 They struck down the Philistines that day from Michmash to Aijalon. And the people were very faint.

32 The people pounced on the spoil and took sheep and oxen and calves and slaughtered them on the ground. And the people ate them with the blood.

33 Then they told Saul, “Behold, the people are sinning against the LORD by eating with the blood.” And he said, “You have dealt treacherously; roll a great stone to me here.”

34 And Saul said, “Disperse yourselves among the people and say to them, ‘Let every man bring his ox or his sheep and slaughter them here and eat, and do not sin against the LORD by eating with the blood.’” So every one of the people brought his ox with him that night and they slaughtered them there.

Questions
     1) Is this the only time up to this point in the Bible that God allows His chosen people to starve...on purpose?

     2) The LORD doesn't have any justification for a vast majority of what He does, so in reality WHO is really the treacherous one?


9. I Samuel 14:38-39
38 And Saul said, “Come here, all you leaders of the people, and know and see how this sin has arisen today.

39 For as the LORD lives who saves Israel, though it be in Jonathan my son, he shall surely die.” But there was not a man among all the people who answered him.

Questions
     1) When has the LORD saved the people of Israel from anything other than the bullshit situations that their loving God decides to put them through? This is not salvation. If it isn't salvation...then what is it? 


10. I Samuel 14:41-43
41 Then Saul prayed, "O LORD, God of Israel, please show us who is guilty and who is innocent." Then they cast sacred lots, and Jonathan and Saul were chosen as the guilty ones, and the people were declared innocent.

42 Then Saul said, “Cast the lot between me and my son Jonathan.” And Jonathan was taken.

43 Then Saul said to Jonathan, “Tell me what you have done.” And Jonathan told him, “I tasted a little honey with the tip of the staff that was in my hand. Here I am; I will die.”

Questions
     1) Isn't this just about the fucking limit of stupidity?

     2) I still want to know why there was freaking honey on the ground, don't you? Was this normal? 


11. I Samuel 14:44-45
44 And Saul said, “God do so to me and more also; you shall surely die, Jonathan.”

45 Then the people said to Saul, “Shall Jonathan die, who has worked this great salvation in Israel? Far from it! As the LORD lives, there shall not one hair of his head fall to the ground, for he has worked with God this day.” So the people ransomed Jonathan, so that he did not die.

Questions
     1) Why does it seem like God loves putting people in positions where it is possible they may be asked or commanded to kill their own children? Lovely.


12. I Samuel 14:47-48
47 When Saul had taken the kingship over Israel, he fought against all his enemies on every side, against Moab, against the Ammonites, against Edom, against the kings of Zobah, and against the Philistines. Wherever he turned he routed them.

48 And he did valiantly and struck the Amalekites and delivered Israel out of the hands of those who plundered them.

Questions
     1) Sooo...apparently modern-day Israel is not the only evidence of God putting His supposed chosen people smack-dab in the middle of oodles of enemies if you go by these verses, right?

     2) Why does God encourage thievery (the plundering)? What the fuck happened to thou shalt not steal and thou shalt not covet and thou shalt not kill?

     3) Do God's rules only apply when He wants them to?


13. I Samuel 15:3
3 Now go and strike Amalek and devote to destruction all that they have. Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant, ox and sheep, camel and donkey.’”

Questions

     1) Well, isn't your God impressive? He is so strong and loving and holy and wholesome and perfect and fair that He kills children and infants?

     2) Sooo...did the LORD order the destruction of all the animals because the animals were co-conspirators, because the animals threatened anyone, or even because God was making an honest effort the hasten the extinction of whatever animals were in the area?

     3) Is God guilty of animal cruelty?

14. I Samuel 15:4-5
4 So Saul summoned the people and numbered them in Telaim, two hundred thousand men on foot, and ten thousand men of Judah.

5 And Saul came to the city of Amalek and lay in wait in the valley.

Questions

     1) Two hundred thousand men laying in wait? Do you really think that such a large force of people would not have been discovered by those they plotted against? Large armies make lots of noise, consume lots of food, and create loads of trash, right? Wouldn't all of these have been great clues as to what was about to happen?

     2) Wouldn't a smaller force of men have produced far less noise and waste? Wouldn't a smaller force of men be easier to hide?

     3) Was the number of soldiers severely over-exaggerated by the author of I Samuel in an effort to impress people with the supposed mega mighty power of God in that He led this great army, yada yada, plucka plucka?

15. I Samuel 15:8-11
8 And he took Agag the king of the Amalekites alive and devoted to destruction all the people with the edge of the sword.

9 But Saul and the people spared Agag and the best of the sheep and of the oxen and of the fattened calves and the lambs, and all that was good, and would not utterly destroy them. All that was despised and worthless they devoted to destruction.

10 The word of the LORD came to Samuel:

11 “I regret that I have made Saul king, for he has turned back from following me and has not performed my commandments.” And Samuel was angry, and he cried to the LORD all night.

Questions
     1) God just loves to destroy shit, doesn't He? And when He does not get His way, if an animal isn't sacrificed, if someone doesn't stone their kid, if one brother is not rooking the other out of his inheritance God becomes pissed off since there is that much less suffering in the world, right?

     2) Do you think that the only true regret that God holds in regards to Saul is God's apparent lack of ability to completely control Saul's mind?


16. I Samuel 15:12, 17-19
12 And Samuel rose early to meet Saul in the morning. And it was told Samuel, “Saul came to Carmel, and behold, he set up a monument for himself and turned and passed on and went down to Gilgal.”

17 And Samuel said, “Though you are little in your own eyes, are you not the head of the tribes of Israel? The LORD anointed you king over Israel.

18 And the LORD sent you on a mission and said, ‘Go, devote to destruction the sinners, the Amalekites, and fight against them until they are consumed.’

19 Why then did you not obey the voice of the LORD? Why did you pounce on the spoil and do what was evil in the sight of the LORD?”

Questions
     1) I think it is rather smarmy to mention that Saul builds a monument to himself when it is God who is well-known for His over-indulgence, right? I mean, look at the Crystal Cathedral, right?

     2) God does not like it one bit when anyone other than Himself gets credit for anything, does He?


17. I Samuel 15:22
22 And Samuel said, “Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams.

Questions
     1) Sooo...the LORD takes great delight in watching the killing of animals followed by viewing the burning of the bodies of the now dead animals?

     2) That line about obeying and sacrifice is a hoot, right? I mean, a good portion of the time God's people are making sacrifices in an effort to obey God's command to kill animals on altars and burn the remains, right?

     3) Sooo...how the hell does this work out? How is obeying better than sacrifice when the command is to sacrifice? Isn't God playing word games here?


18. I Samuel 15:26-29
26 And Samuel said to Saul, “I will not return with you. For you have rejected the word of the LORD, and the LORD has rejected you from being king over Israel.”

27 As Samuel turned to go away, Saul seized the skirt of his robe, and it tore.

28 And Samuel said to him, “The LORD has torn the kingdom of Israel from you this day and has given it to a neighbor of yours, who is better than you.

29 And also the Glory of Israel will not lie or have regret, for he is not a man, that he should have regret.”

Questions
     1) Sooo...by the LORD rejecting Saul as king isn't He simultaneously acknowledging that He made a mistake in judgment?

     2) Don't you find it interesting that God tells His own people that there are those who are better than they are? Sooo...one person really can be better than another person? If that is the case why does the New Testament say that all men fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23)?


19. I Samuel 15:35
35 And Samuel did not see Saul again until the day of his death, but Samuel grieved over Saul. And the LORD regretted that he had made Saul king over Israel.

Questions
     1) Can a perfect God remain perfect while expressing regret?


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