Why not be the King? It can be far worse to be a prophet!
Oh yeah...you thought some of the kings of the people of Israel had it bad? Look at what some of the prophets had to go through. If you read this story and did not know it was from the Bible you would think you were reading a terrible story that involved a quite powerful person who used, abused, and threw people away whenever he was done using them for whatever dastardly thing he had planned. So SO terrible it really makes me sick.
1. I Kings 13:11-18
11 Now an old prophet lived in Bethel. And his sons came and told him all that the man of God had done that day in Bethel. They also told to their father the words that he had spoken to the king.
1. I Kings 13:11-18
11 Now an old prophet lived in Bethel. And his sons came and told him all that the man of God had done that day in Bethel. They also told to their father the words that he had spoken to the king.
12 And their father said to them, “Which way did he go?” And his sons showed him the way that the man of God who came from Judah had gone.
13 Then he said to his sons, "Saddle the donkey for me." So they saddled the donkey for him and he rode away on it.
14 And he went after the man of God and found him sitting under an oak. And he said to him, “Are you the man of God who came from Judah?” And he said, “I am.”
15 Then he said to him, “Come home with me and eat bread.”
16 And he said, “I may not return with you, or go in with you, neither will I eat bread nor drink water with you in this place,
17 for it was said to me by the word of the LORD, ‘You shall neither eat bread nor drink water there, nor return by the way that you came.’”
18 And he said to him, “I also am a prophet as you are, and an angel spoke to me by the word of the LORD, saying, ‘Bring him back with you into your house that he may eat bread and drink water.’” But he lied to him.
Questions
1) This is an interesting gaggle of verses, right? Sooo...the sons go and tell their old man prophet father that another prophet is in town? And then in quick response the old man prophet father jumps up and says to go and saddle...the donkey?
2) Sooo...was this old man prophet who shot off across the plains on a donkey also a prophet of God? If not, just who was he a prophet for? If he was a prophet of God what the hell happened? Did God need to turn him rogue in order to make things happen the way that He needed them to happen?
3) Sooo...if the old man prophet who shot off across the plains on a friggin donkey was directed or allowed by God to purposely lie to another prophet about being a person who received a message from God/the LORD and this is actually a lie in the specifics of the message (since there was really no such message received) and not in the act of being a person who speaks for God (because the lying prophet IS a prophet of God)...WHEW!!! Who writes this crap?
4) Okay, here is yet another question that bothers me about this story, right? Sooo...uhmmm, God IS supposed to be all-powerful, correct? God is also supposed to be all-good and all-loving, right? If God really is these things, all-powerful, all-loving, all-good, yada-yada, plucka-plucka, then wouldn't it stand at the very LEAST by biblical reasoning that God ALWAYS WINS? If God always wins then why did He manipulate people into doing things that are the antithesis of God's very own nature? Why did God make the donkey dude prophet lie to the first prophet?
5) Does is make any sense whatsoever that God had to LIE in order to get what He wanted done/to fulfill prophecy/to make His words stand?
6) Can an intelligent, ultimately controlling and reasoning Being that is supposed to encompass everything that is truth, is this Being capable of lying? Yes or No...can this Being LIE and if so how does this affect His perceived natural state of perfection?
7) Sooo...man was made in the image of God, was he? If man was created with free will does that mean that God also has free will? If God is the ultimate in free will then there is no one anywhere that can make Him do anything AND with this ultimate free will God will logically possess every possible choice (both good and bad) to every situation, right?
8) If the above IS the case, wouldn't it follow out of necessity of His very attributes of all that He is and all that He consists of, that God used HIS ultimate free will to make the choice to lie, to trick, to mislead, to knowingly and intentionally place someone in danger for the purpose of murdering them...and all of THAT for the so-called fulfillment of His 'plan' for mankind?
9) What is it exactly about the foregoing that makes you want to worship, love, adore, pay homage to, pray to, or even give any attention whatsoever to the seriously screwy God of the Bible?
4) Okay, here is yet another question that bothers me about this story, right? Sooo...uhmmm, God IS supposed to be all-powerful, correct? God is also supposed to be all-good and all-loving, right? If God really is these things, all-powerful, all-loving, all-good, yada-yada, plucka-plucka, then wouldn't it stand at the very LEAST by biblical reasoning that God ALWAYS WINS? If God always wins then why did He manipulate people into doing things that are the antithesis of God's very own nature? Why did God make the donkey dude prophet lie to the first prophet?
5) Does is make any sense whatsoever that God had to LIE in order to get what He wanted done/to fulfill prophecy/to make His words stand?
6) Can an intelligent, ultimately controlling and reasoning Being that is supposed to encompass everything that is truth, is this Being capable of lying? Yes or No...can this Being LIE and if so how does this affect His perceived natural state of perfection?
7) Sooo...man was made in the image of God, was he? If man was created with free will does that mean that God also has free will? If God is the ultimate in free will then there is no one anywhere that can make Him do anything AND with this ultimate free will God will logically possess every possible choice (both good and bad) to every situation, right?
8) If the above IS the case, wouldn't it follow out of necessity of His very attributes of all that He is and all that He consists of, that God used HIS ultimate free will to make the choice to lie, to trick, to mislead, to knowingly and intentionally place someone in danger for the purpose of murdering them...and all of THAT for the so-called fulfillment of His 'plan' for mankind?
9) What is it exactly about the foregoing that makes you want to worship, love, adore, pay homage to, pray to, or even give any attention whatsoever to the seriously screwy God of the Bible?
2. I Kings 13:20
20 And as they sat at the table, the word of the LORD came to the prophet who had brought him back.
21 And he cried to the man of God who came from Judah, “Thus says the LORD, ‘Because you have disobeyed the word of the LORD and have not kept the command that the LORD your God commanded you,
22 but have come back and have eaten bread and drunk water in the place of which he said to you, “Eat no bread and drink no water,” your body shall not come to the tomb of your fathers.’”
23 And after he had eaten bread and drunk, he saddled the donkey for the prophet whom he had brought back.
24 And as he went away a lion met him on the road and killed him. And his body was thrown in the road, and the donkey stood beside it; the lion also stood beside the body.
Questions
1) Oooooohhhh!!! I see! It was ALL a trick of the LORD/God...right from the very beginning, right?
2) Sooo...let me make sure I've got this right here, uhmmm...the story here is that the LORD/God told the original prophet that he was not to go back and eat or drink and all that mumbo jumbo, BUT then the LORD/God tells this other prophet old guy to get on a donkey, go out to the original prophet, invite him to lunch BY TELLING HIM THAT GOD SAID TO GO BACK WITH THE PROPHET RIDING THE DONKEY TO HAVE LUNCH. SO then the original prophet goes back because he believes the prophet dude on the donkey...THEN when the original prophet is eating lunch with the prophet dude on the donkey the LORD/God basically channels a message through the donkey dude prophet and says, "TRICK!!! I gotcha, bee-OTCH! Now you are gonna die!" I have got that much right, THAT is the story here, correct?
3) THEN...after God/the LORD is finished tricking this prophet guy (the one who made the prediction about the splitting altar and the falling ashes) by getting another prophet (the older prophet dude on the donkey) to lie to him, the LORD/God then decides to off this faithful servant (the altar prophet guy) by having a LION meet him on the road and kill him? What the fuck?!
4) Oh, and the donkey IS safe, correct? I mean, the Bible does say the donkey stood beside the body of the prophet bamboozled by the LORD/God, right?
5) I am really curious about the idea of a lion meeting the individual he is to kill, aren't you? What kind of message did this lion receive from God? I mean, how does this play out? Is it something like...Once upon a time, a young lion living in the land of the people of Israel was instructed by God, Who said, "Lion, goeth thee thou out to yonder road and waiteth thee for a prophet with whom I am very angry. Thoust shalleth maul-eth the man who once spoke for God, but when the man has expired thou shouldst not eateth of his body, neither harm his donkey, but sitteth there for shits and giggles just to see how many people passeth the carcass of this former man of God before someone haveth compassion, decency and courage to bury and mourn for him." Do you think it would have been something like that?
5) I am really curious about the idea of a lion meeting the individual he is to kill, aren't you? What kind of message did this lion receive from God? I mean, how does this play out? Is it something like...Once upon a time, a young lion living in the land of the people of Israel was instructed by God, Who said, "Lion, goeth thee thou out to yonder road and waiteth thee for a prophet with whom I am very angry. Thoust shalleth maul-eth the man who once spoke for God, but when the man has expired thou shouldst not eateth of his body, neither harm his donkey, but sitteth there for shits and giggles just to see how many people passeth the carcass of this former man of God before someone haveth compassion, decency and courage to bury and mourn for him." Do you think it would have been something like that?
3. I Kings 13:25
25 People who passed by saw the body lying in the road and the lion standing beside it, and they went and reported it in Bethel, where the old prophet lived.
Questions
1) Really? Sooo...this lion is standing by the body of a person it has killed, and we are supposed to believe that people are 'passing by' and taking all this in like a midday matinee, then reporting it to the townspeople? Somebody was into the ganja when they wrote this story, weren't they?
4. I Kings 13:26
26 And when the prophet who had brought him back from the way heard of it, he said, “It is the man of God who disobeyed the word of the LORD; therefore the LORD has given him to the lion, which has torn him and killed him, according to the word that the LORD spoke to him.”
Questions
1) Does this donkey dude prophet remember anything he said or did to the other prophet?
2) Doesn't he recall telling the other prophet the lie that God said to go back with him and have lunch?
3) Do any of the people suspect this donkey dude prophet had something to do with it since he apparently knows all of the information as to what happened to this guy while everyone else does not?
4) This man of God who was killed disobeyed God? Wasn't he TRICKED by God? If he was tricked by God he sure as shit did not disobey God, did he?
5) The LORD/God set this poor man up for failure, didn't He? How does this LORD/God then deserve anything BUT disdain?
5. I Kings 13:27
27 Then he spoke to his sons, saying, "Saddle the donkey for me." And they saddled it.
28 And he went and found his body thrown in the road, and the donkey and the lion standing beside the body. The lion had not eaten the body or torn the donkey.
29 And the prophet took up the body of the man of God and laid it on the donkey and brought it back to the city to mourn and to bury him.
30 And he laid the body in his own grave. And they mourned over him, saying, “Alas, my brother!”
31 And after he had buried him, he said to his sons, “When I die, bury me in the grave in which the man of God is buried; lay my bones beside his bones.
Questions
1) Sooo...up to this point no one has gone to get the body of the dead prophet, which by the way the lion and donkey are still standing by? You have a dead body and a lion and a donkey and the lion isn't touching the body or the donkey and people don't stop to think that God/the LORD definitely had something to do with this?
2) Sooo...the prophet who had his mind hijacked by the LORD in order to tell the other prophet a lie so that God/the LORD could kill him, goes out and takes the body of the dead prophet, buries him and mourns for him...because apparently no one else was going to do so? What the fuck is wrong with people? What the fuck is wrong with the LORD/God?
3) There is something about verse 31 that just seems so very lonely and so very hurtful and so very dejected, isn't there? God/the LORD would have left the body of the tricked prophet that He murdered just laying there on the road, wouldn't He have? Was it not enough for God that the man was dead that He had to make the effort to try to leave him alone in death as well, his body cast aside like trash? Is THIS the God/LORD you worship?
